Grandma Tells The Truth: A Story

Hello Lovely APJ Crew,

Here I have a story that will warm the cockles of your heart. I wish all Grandmas were so outrageously outspoken, especially with today’s politicians. Wouldn’t that be something.

Portia xx

Grandma Tells The Truth: A Story

Grandma Tells The Truth The_Old_Lady_and_the_Birds FotoPediaPhoto Stolen FotoPedia

Lawyers should never ask a Georgia grandma a question if they aren’t prepared for the answer.

In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, ‘Mrs. Jones, do you know me?’ She responded, ‘Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I’ve known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you’ve been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you’re a big shot when you haven’t the brains to realize you’ll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.’

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, ‘Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?’

She again replied, ‘Why yes, I do. I’ve known Mr. Bradley since he was a
youngster, too. He’s lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can’t build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.’

The defense attorney nearly died.

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said,

‘If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I’ll send you both to the electric chair.

 

21 comments on “Grandma Tells The Truth: A Story

  1. Tatiana says:

    LOL. That is priceless! I’m going to have to share this one.

  2. Maya says:

    OMG! That was hysterical! I burst out laughing, then read it to someone else who LOVED it too. I’m still chuckling!

  3. Sandra says:

    That made me have a belly laugh! Great joke. xoxo

  4. LOL!! What a great story to read first thing in the morning! (I’m having my morning tea now :D)
    Thinkingmagpie recently posted…Iris GardenMy Profile

  5. tammy says:

    I had one of those Georgia grandmas, and I can confirm that you’d best have not asked her anything if you didn’t want the truth told straight up, no chasers! She had a somewhat similar conversation with Jimmy Carter, when he was Governor of Georgia. (In all fairness, it was about his politics, not his personal life!)

    • australianperfumejunkies says:

      WOW! You are Grandma Outspoken Royalty. That would have been SOME conversation I bet. I bet you inherited your share of say it like it is-ness too Tammy.
      Portia xx

  6. Lauren W says:

    🙂

  7. Haefennasiel says:

    Bwahahahaha!! Came across this story before in Facebook but it never gets old – thanks again for the belly laughs, Portia! XD

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