Comments and Fleur de Lalita by Parfums Dustita 2017


Val the Cookie Queen


Good day to you APJ readers, stalkers and commenters.

Can you be bothered?

The most exciting thing about my first ever blog post was the comments. I could hardly stop myself looking every two minutes to
see if anything had been added. I still get a thrill to see my thoughts in print, but don´t check quite so often to see if anyone said anything. I do enjoy the interplay with the readers.

Comments and Fleur de Lalita by Parfums Dustita 2017

Two experiences in my commenting of late have triggered this post. Last week I was commenting on a blog based in the US. It was one of those ones that are a bit of a pain in the arse, you know? First your name, an email address, checking the “I am not a robot” box, identifying which of the six random pics has zebra crossings in them to prove you are not a bloody robot and then, just when you got it all worked out, your comment disappears. Swear. Forget it. And then recently commenting on Portia´s La Fille de Berlin post, and making several typos. Guaranteed that a comment with typos will post just fine. So annoying, because then I have to post again excusing the typos.

Is it worth the bother?

Well is it? Why do you comment on blogs? Why don´t you comment on blogs? I find it so terribly fascinating that there are amazing blogs out there, (I´m talking perfume for today), and no one says a damn thing. I seriously wonder why. Perhaps some writing doesn’t motivate comments? I am sure the blogger can see how many people have tuned in to read though. That is something I am not privy to as I am a contributor and Portia is the blog host.

The Slow Decline of the Comment.

I have noticed with the blogs that I follow, and it is too many, that comments are getting to be less and less. I decided to have a chat with A Bottled Rose, The Candy Perfume Boy, and Bonkers about Perfume and see what they said. The one thing they all said in common, but in separate private chats with me, is that there is a marked decline in commenting. Hmmmmm.

“I ask a question, but no one ever answers. Rarely anyways. “
“I am not blogging for public feedback, but because I have things I want say, including off-topic things.”
“I wonder if people might think some bloggers have their heads stuck up their backsides ….” Read but don´t comment.
“I do love the regular commenters and the rapport I have with them, they count for a lot.”
“It is more of a fragmented scene now.”
“Some blogs don´t encourage comments anyway.”
“Some just read for information, not for interaction.”
“I think people are changing the way they engage. On social media it´s easy just to like something, or heart it, or drop a little emoji to say ‘I like this’. Most of the blogs have a like button too.”
“I have definitely noticed that people do not comment as much as they used to.”
“They do comment of FB, Twitter and Instagram though.”

Why bother?

A lot of work goes into a blog post. Perfume, books, fashion, food. Doesn’t matter. Fact checking, background research, spellchecks, punctuation, deleting random apostrophes. Blogs don´t happen on their own. They are ball busters to keep going. And the vast majority do it out of a deep love for the subject matter. I have made so many real life friends through perfume, and it would never have happened had they not taken the time to stick a comment on the end of post. Comments are our likes. But you know what? If nothing else, please keep reading, without you dear readers, there are no blogs.

What am I wearing today? Parfums Dustita`s Fleur de Lalita. Thanks for asking.


Fragrantica gives these featured accords:
Top: May rose, magnolia, jasmine, white lily, galbanum, ylang-ylang
Heart: Ambrette (musk mallow), exotic floral notes
Base: Madagascar vanilla, sandalwood, tonka bean, ambergris

When do you comment?


126 comments on “Comments and Fleur de Lalita by Parfums Dustita 2017

  1. Tara C says:

    I comment when I feel I have something relevant to say about the post that might be interesting to read, for either the blog owner or the other readers.

  2. Wendy says:


  3. Tena says:

    Hi CQ,

    I only reply, add when I have something to genuinely add to the conversation. If I have never heard of the scent, or hate the outfit, I don’t see that as really adding to a positive discussion.

    There are also a few blogs, where unless you can give a minute by minute description of the scent development, your comments are not welcome, and the phrase “Scent Eating Skin” is used at least once per review.

    I often comment on the Posse, APJ, Life in a Cold Climate, and NST; but again, only if I have something to contribute.

    • cookie queen says:

      Hey tena! LMAO. Scent eating skin – seriously ……. 😉 I know – there are a number of blogs where saying something is just not necessary. And this minute by minute description? Yeah well. Will check out Life in a Cold Climate. Nice to see you. 🙂 Do drop by again!! Lot of love, Val xxxx

  4. Wendy says:

    for real though:

    Dear Val! I really do hope you will be getting lots of comments, because to be honest I think that the answers will help many bloggers understand that it is not because of them when commenting is slow. My two cents’about why i do NOT comment:

    •Sometimes you see a lot of the same people commenting all over the perfume blogosphere, and I feel a teeny bit like an outsider (I know, I know, perfume bloggers are some of the nicest and most welcoming people, but it’s just how I feel)
    •Sometimes I feel I have nothing worthwhile to add; I know what like but do not always have deeper thoughts about it?
    •Sometimes the blogger is so incredibly knowledgeable that I feel too awed to comment (1000fragrances, a blog I loved to read, caved because nobody dared to comment. This is not a stab at Octavio by the way, just statement of fact)
    •There are just sooooooooooooo many blogs nowadays (I also like to follow beauty and makeup blogs)
    •And let’s not start of the overwhelming volume of new releases.. most of them drab or just infuriating (am I the only one who sometimes sees red when yet another unknown perfume house storms onto the scene with a million boring new releases?)
    •Time difference is also a factor to be honest.

    Hope this helps! And please bloggers reading this: never stop writing about what you love. Your readers love you and love reading your thoughts, even if we do not always comment!
    Hugs, Wendy (wearing Nu, by YSL…for what it’s worth 😉
    PS a tip: if your comments means a lot to you, first write it in word or something, if the systems eats it, you can just copy/paste.. tadaa!

    • cookie queen says:

      Hi Wendy!!
      I am sure you are not the only one who sees red. I don´t see it in colour, haha, I just think, how many more not just boring, but utter garbage are they gonna try and convince us to wear/try/buy?? No no no.
      It is hard to add anything to a blog that either seems very knowledgable or says it all anyway, perhaps leaving no room for any kind of social interaction. But Wendy, don´t feel like an outsider huh? Why? I mean in reality, with x billion people on the planet, maybe less than a hundred read what you have to say. Here today, gone tomorrow!! I actually never really t thought it was about the bloggers, and to be honest, I cannot be bothered to comment on many occasions. I think I will, but the phone is too small, then I get home and turning on the big computer is a major event and well ….. then it´s tomorrow. Nevertheless, it is an interesting question and I am overwhelmed at how many people have commented. Sheesh!

      Do pop by again! Bussis, Val xxxx

  5. MmkInPA says:

    Totally agree with the above. It’s so hard to keep up with all of the releases, half the time I’ve not even heard of the House being reviewed. I do comment on NST for the SOTD but only occasionally comment on reviews because I usually am not familiar with the perfume!

    • cookie queen says:

      Hi there MmkInPA!
      When the review is only about perfume, and there are no paths into other areas, then yep, unless you have it or know it, what is there to say? I love SOTD stuff! I post mine most days on Instagram Take pic on my balcony and job done. Fun and easy and always, always interesting to see what others are wearing. I don´t bother with any new releases any more, except those of the very few I am interested in. The so called “niche” have seriously lost the plot. Thank a lot for throwing in your thoughts. Hugs. xxxx

  6. Meg says:

    Well, since you asked… 🙂

    I’m an introvert, so to be honest, “online” used to be more of a safe zone, where I could pop in and have little chats with folks on a smaller scale. I would use a different handle on each blog I commented on, and didn’t feel like I was exposing too much online.

    I think the biggest hurdle (for me) these days: I tend to only comment on sites that don’t track my comments back to a shared profile, but more and more do now. Like this looks like it’ll tie things back (maybe) to my WordPress account?

    I do so enjoy the writing though! You guys do an awesome job. I’m just not into the whole “big matrixed online presence” thing.

    • cookie queen says:

      A different handle on each blog? I can hardly remember my own name! Do comments get tracked back? What does that even mean? Blimey. Thanks for the positive vibes. Keep reading, stay chilled. Enjoying is the key to most things, commenting is not an obligation! Peace. Love Val xxxxxxx

  7. The Accords says:

    Just posted a comment via Bloglovin basically reintegrating what Tena said, who knows where it has gone. Well established communities are intimidating, and no one wants to seem foolish. It’s curious to me that the most “accessible” frag people, those doing frag battles and the like on IG, are the ones with very high engagement. It’s not scary to participate in that. The web was once a refuge for introverts, now every comment traces to a personal brand. I’m often just not brave enough to comment even when I love the content. I’m inspired to change that…

    • cookie queen says:

      I had no idea about comments tracing to personal brands, in fact what does that really mean? people comment to push their own businesses or whatever? Hmmmm Duh. Now here I have to admit something! I love your blog, your Instagram, your “conversations” with Liam. Have I ever commented. Nope. I have never thought of any of the established communities as intimidating exactly, but I have thought nah – can´t be bothered. I am going to start to take the tie to at least say, hey, I enjoyed your the post, instead of just leaving the commenting my head. So chuffed to see you here – The Accords! Cool. Hugs. xxxxxx

  8. Tara says:

    Happy you posted this, Val.

    Very interesting to read that a number of people don’t comment simply because they don’t feel they have anything they think is worth saying. None of us thought of that one! Obvious really.

    I don’t like to think of people being too intimidated or shy to comment but totally understand. Commenting on blogs changed my life immeasurably for the better so I love it when people take the leap and engage but there’s no reason why they should. I certainly don’t want anyone to feel obliged but it really adds to the fun.
    Tara recently posted…Mood Scent 4 – Uplifting PerfumesMy Profile

    • Undina says:

      I remember that when I started commenting, each comment was taking me 10-15 minutes to finally press on Post Comment and publish a sentence or two 🙂 It was scary. And for a while I wasn’t sure if the host’s “Thank you for stopping by” actually meant “Don’t stop, keep going, nothing to see here” 😉
      Undina recently posted…Second Sunday Samples: Berdoues Collection Grands CrusMy Profile

    • cookie queen says:

      We didn’t huh? I mean I don’t comment if I have nothing to say, but sometimes it’s just being bothered. If I don’t do it on the spor, I seldom go back. Just too busy. Certainly feeling obliged would not be ideal.
      Had I not started to comment, I never would have met Portia, and in turn the rest ……. It more than changed my life. ❤️

    • cookie queen says:

      Oh crap Tara. I commented to you under Undina. I’m on my phone so I can watch Strictly. 😁

      • cookie queen says:

        Ah! It was Undina that commented under your comment. This is fun. I´m gonna need meds to get through this.

      • Undina says:

        Yeah… I kind of hijacked your topic and went on talking to people 🙂 – so no surprise that you couldn’t figure out who to respond to. After thinking about it – I’m NOT sorry, it was fun! 😉

    • cookie queen says:

      Great fun Undina! I used my phone for kost of the comments, and can’t see a damn comment above or below and it did kind of confuse my brain. 😅

  9. tora says:

    I know that overall, I do not post a comment when I read a blog. My main reason not to, is that I am lacking confidence about the subject. Sometimes I have written a comment and thought, ” that’s stupid, Tora” and deleted it before posting. And, in the past, I offended a blogger by a comment that was ill-informed and that made me very gun shy. If I have a deeper relationship with a blogger and have gotten to know them over the years, I am more confident to talk. I am pretty much the same way in real life. I tend to keep quiet unless I feel that my words would contribute in a good way.

    • cookie queen says:

      Bloggers that get offended need to shape up. Are we in kindergarten or what? It´s a blog ffs. But yes, but a relationship between the poster and the reader is something totally cool, and is a relationship that grows as it would in real life – at least with some blogs. I could do with learning to keep quiet unless I have something to contribute in a good way! Hahahahahahah. As my report card always said: If Valerie could learn to shut her mouth …… I´m getting there! Fab to see you Tora. Big hugs, Val. xxxxx

  10. australianperfumejunkies says:

    Heya Val,
    I comment on posts so that people know I’m reading, as well as having something to say.
    Somehow since having the blog my life has become more hectic and I’ve less real time to read all the blogs. We now have two young dogs that need 3 walks a day, two real walks and one wee break. I’ve also forced myself to go back to reading books/Kindle which takes a chunk of time.
    I LOVE it when a blog has a LIKE button. I can read the post, even if I’ve nothing to add I hit like and then the blogger knows I’ve dropped in.
    Portia xx

    • cookie queen says:

      My life is a million times more hectic since I started contributing to APJ. Blimey. It opened a whole new world for me and I would not change it for a thing. I still panic at deadline time and wonder why I can´t get my act together. I like the like buttons too, and the hearts of Instagram. Truth is when I asked the question on the post I never dreamt so many people would have something to say. Enlightening! Bussis dearest Portia. xxxxx

  11. Jackie b says:

    So, as a blogger, is it satisfying to have people drop by and read but not comment?
    I do like to contribute but usually only if I have something constructive or entertaining to say. Some blogs feel more conducive than others I think, but I always enjoy reading.
    Thank you for entertaining and informing us!

    • cookie queen says:

      Hi Jackie b!
      I am a contributor and not a blogger, per se. Without a doubt it is cool if someone just drops in. (I talked privately with Portia and now have more of an idea as to what goes on, so that is a big yes. It is wonderful that so many people do take the time to drop in. I love it.) The interaction with the reader however is really cool and an added, if unnecessary, bonus! It is great that you are around so often, it doesn´t go unnoticed. Bussis. xxxx

  12. crikey says:

    When a blog has been running for a while, and there’s a big active community in and around it can feel a little tricky starting to comment. It feels like edging through the door at a big party where everyone already knows each other–it’s friendly and lively and full of interesting people and conversation, but it can still feel a bit awkward joining in. It can be tempting to stay in the corner/kitchen and listen in.

    That said, I’ve not yet met a perfume blogger that’s not been incredibly welcoming when I did edge out of the corner and start mumbling to the host…

    • I love your analogy! Yes, it can feel exactly like that! I’ll try to mumble to our hosts more often …
      Old Herbaceous recently posted…Scent Sample Sunday: Lazy Sunday MorningMy Profile

    • cookie queen says:

      Please keep mumbling Crikey, your words are needed! It is a really valid point, the active community thing, one that I had never considered. It is supremely comfortable sitting in the corner of a kitchen and listening in. Grab a few cushions and curl up! Nearly everyone I have met in the online perfume world has been great, and every single person I have met in the flesh, has been amazing. I love the perfume people, A lot more than the perfumes to be honest. 😉 Hugs. xxxxx

  13. VerbenaLuvvr says:

    The most common issue with me is having the time (I only access during work break), then it also happens that I don’t feel as savvy or experienced in the topic as many of the more prolific commentators so I keep my two cents to myself. Regardless, I read your blog EVERY day and appreciate what you do!

    • cookie queen says:

      Fantastic, More than enough. We at APJ, I am sure I speak for Portia and the rest of his crew, are thrilled you do. And please don´t think for a moment we are either savvy or experienced ….. it´s a smokescreen! 😉 xxxxxxxx Bussis.

  14. Berni Ross says:

    Hi Val

    I read several blogs, and occasionally comment on a few of them. If I were to comment on all the articles I wouldn’t get much of anything else done. It can sometimes be a bit intimidating because other commenters are so well-informed. I don’t always feel that I have anything relevant to say so I don’t say anything. A bit like in real life, where I tend to size people up a bit before I can open up, there’s that element of shyness and not wanting to make a fool of yourself. I never gave much thought to the poor blog hosts who spend ages slaving away over a hot keyboard producing an article only for it to sit there, seemingly unappreciated, when in fact there are oodles of people like me out there who enjoy the fruits of their labour tremendously. So a big THANK YOU to you all!

    • cookie queen says:

      Hi there Berni! I think that is smart, as opposed to being shy. Slaving away over a hot keyboard? Hahahahahahahaha! Sometimes that is true. 🙂 We are most certainly not poor though, and I don´t believe that we write to be appreciated, but yeah, it is good to know that there are people out there reading the ramblings. And if there is some information that helps, then all the better. Although with perfume it is hard to say! What I loe someone else might hate. That is the fun of it all! Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Lots of love, Val. xxxxx

  15. Marion Corvi Low says:

    I comment if I feel I have something to add to the conversation, if I have an answer to a question, or an opinion that might help. I also need to have enough time to do so then. I only belong to FFF on facebook, finding that there is not the time to explore others, and the folks there are so great, sweet, gracious, giving and loving that there is no other for me. I do check in with many niche perfumers of course.
    My reason for not reading/answering a comment is because I have not sniffed, could not afford, live in the wrong continent, or know a specific juice is not to my taste. Many of the fragrances spoken of are ones I could not justify spending money on. I also have dozens of bottles to use yet.
    I always read APJ and JS of course. Appreciate all the care that you put into your work, love to meet you all some time!

    • cookie queen says:

      Hi Marion! You make me wonder where you are located! I know FFF has a big map showing the locations of all their members. Actually, it would be interesting to know where all the APJ readers are. Perhaps I´ll will write post asking. Hmmmmm!! I don´t think many of us can really justify the money we spend, or just the thought of the money we would like to spend on such an addiction. i agree, I enjoy FFF as well. And love seeing what people are wearing. Only a perfume junkie could understand that! Nice to see you. Bussis. Val xxxxxxx

  16. Hi Val. I don’t comment enough but I do want to but often am a little pressed for time but this is very timely. I have my own blog and comments have definitely dropped off although I’m only a small blog so have never had that many anyway. Insta, FB and YouTube are where everything is at these days. The FB groups are really like the new blogs where everything is more interactive and it’s so much easier to contribute. Some people are fans of the written word and others not so much. Videos provide easily accessible information too and are hugely popular. Have you checked out Jeremy Fragrance? He’s the perfume vlogging super star. Anyway I do think it’s great that there are more mediums out there – hopefully something for everyone and I would like to do You Tube actually but it scares me to death. I suppose you just need to jump in … xxx
    meganinsaintemaxime recently posted…Mood Scent 4 : Uplifting PerfumesMy Profile

    • cookie queen says:

      Hi Megan! I never watch any perfume videos, I will take look. Dunno that I really wanna add that to my 101 extra ways to waste my time list. 😉 I too think the number of mediums is cool, a choice is always good. It can be overwhelming though. Just the time I spend on Instagram after having started the whole thing ……. Nice to see you, would chat more but I have to rush off and make a ton of cookies. Hugs. xxxxx

  17. Mary says:

    I do like to comment when a) I have time b) I’m able to make a sensible or informed contribution to the discussion. Sometimes I intend to comment later but then don’t. I’m more active on Facebook because it seems more spontaneous and simpler, somehow, although the latter isn’t true in this case. Fleur de Lalita sounds gorgeous: I’m a huge fan of Pissara’s work.
    I’ll try to comment more often in future!

    • cookie queen says:

      HI Mary, Sensible is never neccesary, so please don´t worry about that! I am more active on FB too. It is much easier to comment and like etc, same with Instagram. lariat is extremely pretty, and there is an underlying sultriness to it. Don´t stress yourself over commenting! Love, Val xxxxx

  18. shiva-woman says:

    Honestly, technology sometimes gets in way. I wanted to comment on a post recently about Guerlain Ensens Mythique and my comment wouldn’t post on my phone. Send or Go kept disappearing. I read and write now mostly on the phone, and sometimr it doesn’t work.
    But yes, I also think people are browsing more, lazy, getting a quick bite and moving over to another pasture.
    shiva-woman recently posted…Comments and Fleur de Lalita by Parfums Dustita 2017My Profile

    • cookie queen says:

      Hi shiva-woman! Yep, bloody annoying huh? I totally agree with you, and in a away it causes a kind of online ADD. Which is why I have to put my iToys away sometimes and hope I don´t twitch too much. you are always around, I love it! Hugs, Val xxxxx

  19. Elaine Richard says:

    I enjoy the humor and the discussion of a scent, especially the notes. However I only make and use natural scents, so most of the perfumes you review I don’t have experience with. It’s true that I am a quiet person, so I won’t comment unless I have something significant to say.

    • cookie queen says:

      Elaine, I am so glad to hear about the humour! YES!!! That is exactly my goal as a contributor, to make people laugh or at least smile. Gosh, it´s only perfume and there is an absolutely hilarious side to it all. The Scent Eating Skin syndrome, the minute by minute breakdown of supposed notes,! I love it!! Thanks for mentioning the natural scents (you make them??). I will keep my eyes open for more. Are you familiar with Hiram Green and April Aromatics, to mention but two? Thanks for dropping in! Hugs, Val xxxx

  20. Wow, this is soooo informative, and the great thing is that because APJ naturally attracts a lot of commenters, it attracts people chipping in on this topic too! So it is a great blog to host the discussion, and thanks to Val for coming up with the idea. Personally I had no clue that people felt they needed to have anything significant to say before joining in – that has been the biggest revelation to me. I’d like to say: ‘Please comment anyway, if you have the time!’ Because for the blogger it is more about what they call ‘phatic communion’ in linguistics (a term I have not had occasion to use since 1977) – ie the blog commenting equivalent of small talk or oiling the wheels. Oh, and I like this definition best: ‘Free, aimless, social intercourse’.
    Vanessa Musson recently posted…The comments conundrum: a post by Val the Cookie Queen on Australian Perfume JunkiesMy Profile

  21. Sandra says:

    Hi Val, To be completely honest with you I tend to be very shy so I comment on blogs where I know people. For me it is also a question of whether or not I feel that I can contribute to a post. Thanks for posting this today. Sandra xo

    • cookie queen says:

      Hi Sandra. Yeah, the shyness thing had not crossed my mind until now. I agree with the contribution tings, and clearly many feel like that. Of course it makes sense, I just never KNEW. Good, as ever to see you. Lots of love to all. You are one of the ones I would never have net without commenting on blogposts. I treasure the day we met. Bussis. xxxx

  22. Marla says:

    Mostly do not comment for all the reasons listed above, especially not feeling as though I have anything meaningful to add to the conversation, but also as one commenter mentioned above, comments being traced back to other online locations.

    I had to shut down my tiny little blog, which was about the fiber arts, beekeeping and cheesemaking on our small farm, because of a random comment I made after the last election about giving every new president the benefit of the doubt, even the ones I don’t vote for. Hundreds of hate filled comments a day; death-threats, threats against my animals, you name it.

    I now use a made-up name on the rare occasions I do comment, but I do read all the perfume blogs I know about and am so grateful for everything I’ve learnedbabout from you wonderful people. I live very far out and would never have a chance to know about many of the perfumes you discuss otherwise. Thank you so much.

    My Scent of the Day is L’Air Du Temps. It is incredibly lovely to me and I never hear anyone talk about it.

    • Jillie says:

      So sorry to hear about your awful experience. Truly there are a lot of cowardly trolls out there.

      Just wanted to say I used to love L’Air du Temps and I know I have a bottle in the depths of my wardrobe – I will hunt it out today (if I don’t end up in Narnia first!), and wear it in your honour!

    • cookie queen says:

      Hello Marla! Your comment regarding the awful people, trolls, cowards, so upset me. I mean, I know it happens but assumed it was on much bigger blogs.perhaps political ones, and of course in FB comments under say, The Washington Post etc. But on a beautiful small personal blog? Sucks. HA! If I made up a name I would forget it,remember my Are you in Minnesota per chance? I am going to try L’Air Du Temps again. It has been years. And please, add anything to the conversation, cheese fits in ANYWHERE!! I am so sorry you had to shut down your blog, that sucks. With lots of love from the Austrian mountains. Val xxxxx

  23. Robert H. says:

    Hi Val! I refuse to comment on the grounds that I may have to comment….. 😉


  24. cookie queen says:

    OH MY GOSH!! So many comments. I’m gobsmacked, touched and amazed at the open, honest, a little sad, and revealing comments. Tara C, Wendy, Tena, MmkInPa, Meg, The Accords ☺️, Tara, Tora, Portia, Jackie b, crikey, VerbenaLuvvr, Berni Ross, Marion, Megan, Mary, shiva-woman, Elaine, Vanessa, Sandra, Marla, Robert, and anyone else who may commnet, I will answer each wonderful comment when I get back home at the weekend. Don’t laugh!! I mean a whole post about a rapport and I’m busy right now?
    I am in Bruchsal in Germany, home of Aus Liebe Zum Duft/First in Fragrance with my husband (and his bike!). We’re visiting ALZD tomorrow – niche perfume mecca. I’ll take lots of pics and try stuff and report back. I’m on my phone now and if I answer everything I’ll have a nervous breakdown, such a small screen. So pleeeeease, check back in. Hugs to you Marla, how bloody upsetting is your story?? Bussis to all of you. CQ Val. ❤️❤️❤️

  25. Dubaiscents says:

    I used to comment a lot more when I first got into perfumes and followed just a few blogs but, as life gets busier (three kids do that to you) I comment only rarely when I am really moved by something. Also, I’m often reading the post up to 30 days later (thanks Feedly) so I figure commenting that late is not worthwhile. But I still love reading all my blogs even if I don’t comment. I hope there are ways to tell that I’m reading even if I don’t comment. I had to laugh about comments going missing, good to know that happens to all of us!

    • cookie queen says:

      Dubaiscents! You are around a lot! Love it. Keep reading, we know. And it´s more than enough. Feeding your kids is( probably) more important! Love Val xxxxxx

  26. Kate Apted says:

    Hi all,
    Such an important duscussion generated. Reading the comments here is, as always, the highlight for me. A few common threads that are new ideas to me. I love learning about you all.

    I’m going to add a few points here because communication is a huge problem for me. The ole autism chestnut, I guess. So, apologies in advance for the boredom you might get.

    Online life has been an absolute boon for me. In person, people have told me I am a real wallflower; boring, plain, quiet, bombastic, awkward. I find face to face incredibly painful. No one asks my opinion about anything, so comments sections are my lifeline from my brain and its over expansive energy to reaching out to others. I get to order my thoughts and communicate in my own good time, and contribute to a discussion. I can walk away and not see replies. I have a degree of control over the whole process of joining the human race.

    I over contribute, get no responses back, not realise the rules, come across as naive, add zilch of value etc. But it is a world I feel safe enough to let a bit of me out onto. It has allowed me to feel I am pretty much like you. That is a huge thing!

    So, I contribute comments based on a few criteria. Time is the biggest reason. Feeling safe to comment is another. Wanting to make a connection with the blogger is a big motivator. Sometimes it is to help them feel a sense of unity on what they feel. Other times, I may have questions, or I feel a need to make suggestions.

    As I live in my head a lot (seen by many as being away with the fairies), I have to make a concerted effort to read blogs. Other than APJ, I flit around, based on my energy, inclinations and feeling of safety with the blogger. (There are some bloggers who NEVER interact with me. I might come across as a schizoid maniac they’d feel safer to avoid. I dunno…) It suits me to have APJ email me new posts. That way, I have a reminder to read the post. Otherwise, I am like a blinded horse…I focus only on what is in front of me.

    I do have my own blog about life with autism, but it is more musings and observations. A place for me to feel safe to really get out what is on my mind. It would be great to have others to bounce off, but it seems I have no media presence; my blog is lost in space. Hardly surprising really. So many out there… I am simply grateful to at least get my brain to output in a meaningful way.

    So, Val, commenting is a vastly personal act for me. I can reassure you that, while I may not comment, I do find your posts full of life, strong opinions and I adore reading your take on life. You take ordinary aspects of daily life and inject them with an energy that animates them with soul.

    Enjoy your time in your perfume mecca. And love to your gorgeous feline boss.

    Kate xx

    • australianperfumejunkies says:

      I either never knew or totally forgot that you have a blog. We always link our contributors to their own blogs here at APJ. It should generate some traffic and if it can help anyone out there with autism to feel community then it’s a really important space, we need to link it.
      Can you either drop the blog name here or PM me please?
      Portia xxx

      • Kate Apted says:

        Awww, Portia, you are a honey! Yes, you are! I am very quiet about my blog because it is more a black hole for me to let it all hang out. I keep it anonymous so that my work life and private life stay separated. As much as I want to make my autism a whole, I work with young men who see autism as being ‘retarded’ and I have enough issues being in an alpha males’ world as it is. I thank you so much for the kind offer, but I am very content with my lost in space effect. Mwah!!

    • cookie queen says:

      Hey everyone!! You SEE?????? Reading comments is a highlight for Kate and I now for many others. I so enjoy following what people are saying and will check back often to see the progression. Getting no response back is shocking and I kow that most bloggers, and certainly my dear blogger friends would just not do that, not for the death of a relative. 🙂 I also feel that making a connection with the blogger is a plus point of both blogging and stories a degree social media. Our circle of companionship is widened. On saying that I do believe it is the more intimate blogs that encourage that huh? Intimate does not have to mean small though. Look at BdJ – fabulous. APJ email me posts too. Quite funny really! Although I don´t forget to read so often any more as they pop up in FB, Twitter and the rest of the social media scene.
      Yep. Bruchsal, Germany, was a blast. I´ll pop the pics off to Portia over the next couple of days. James, my son looked after the cat. She was so happy to see us that she dropped a dead bird, headless, in the hallway at about 04.00 in the morning, My husband skidded on it on the way to the loo in the dark ….. Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha I know it was a gift of love. LMAO. I hope you continue to feel comfy here on APJ. Big hugs Kate. xxxxx

  27. Ingrid says:

    Hi Val, I only comment on APJ because there is communication and interaction with the blogger. On most other blogs there is no acknowledgement of comments and no answers to questions, giving the impression they don’t read the comments let alone give a hoot. So I don’t bother either.

    • cookie queen says:

      Hi Ingrid, scuse me being so late answering, been rushing around like mad woman since being back from Germany. Not answering is so bloody rude. Sure it can happen once but not as a regular thing. Interaction is the such an important part of small blogs, some the bigger blogs, or those that are clearly being paid to write something, have different standards, maybe. Whatever, keep coming back please! Hugs. Val xxxx

  28. Amy says:

    I comment occasionally on a couple of blogs and am mostly hindered by time and the occasionally logistics you describe. But there is another factor I think only one person has named and that’s politics. Many blogs try to stay free of it, which I completely understand. It’s about perfume! But there are times, like the ones we are in now at least in the USA, when it feels wrong not to be thinking about politics. Also the definition of what counts as politics annoys me. We can talk about gender parity, for example, but not about race. And there is a lot of racism in and around perfume. So that’s a factor for me lately.

    I wonder how long the downward comment trend has been going on, as the past year or more in the USA political fatigue and rage have definitely been a factor for me.

    Also, sometimes I think people are so implicitly snotty about what they like and don’t like – not you or this blog, where everyone is up front, humorous, and open – that it turns me off. Often all in a passive aggressive way that makes me even more nuts. Oof.

    I can’t wait to smell that Dusita!

    • Koyel says:

      I agree with a lot of the things you said 🙁

      Is there really a lot of racism in/around perfume? Could you tell me more about that? Or direct me to some links? (If you would rather not do it here, my e-mail address is: ko bhatta at jee male dawt cawm.)

      • Amy says:

        I was thinking mostly about the general often creepy–very technical term, I know–orientalism that pervades a lot of perfume copy and advertising. I am sure that there is really intelligent writing about this and feel like I should know more. A tiny silly example. I love a lot of the perfumes by Parfum d’Empire, but I am a little embarrassed to own perfume by a company that calls itself Parfum d’Empire. Do we really want to celebrate Western European empire building? Does that make sense?

      • Koyel says:

        Oh, of course. We are kept so busy with life-threatening racism in the US right now that I’d nearly forgotten about things like that (a shop called Banana Republic, as another fragrance-ish example that seems even more obviously awful to me!). Thanks for reminding me of that.

      • Amy says:

        Yes exactly, Banana Republic. But of course, you are 100 percent correct that the lived day to day in the US right now is so much more lethal and renders the perfume things almost silly by comparison. Yet I also wonder if there is a link: a certain privilege and presumptive whiteness and Europeanness that can thoughtlessly use these horrible historically sedimented tropes.

        The thing that actually made me angry with a blog was closer up your alley though. It was one someone on a site you and I both frequent pointed out the potential implicit racism of someone’s comment about a film casting and was chastized for it by a couple of people. I thought, no, if we can talk about gender parity, assuming we are all reasonable people who are for it, why not racial pariety too.

      • Koyel says:

        I REMEMBER THAT. I remember that perfectly, and it made me really angry, and I emailed that person separately in support of her critical comment because I thought the backlash was ludicrous! And I have disliked the person who made the initial racist comment ever since. Racism isn’t political—or at least, it shouldn’t be.

        I also think you’re correct, that the subtle privileges of Parfums d’Empire and Banana Republic are part and parcel with more overt, deadly racism. I just forget sometimes.

    • Kate Apted says:

      Oh Amy! I think you’ve hit on something. I suspect there is a world weariness happening everywhere. Nearly everyone I talk to says they are tired. Not physically, but spiritually. I have to recharge by going off social media often. So much knowledge and info floating about; and I rarely feel I’m engaging fully with it all.

      I’m hanging to try the Dusita range too. Universally lauded. K xx

    • cookie queen says:

      Amy! Hahahaha. I am über-snotty, laughing here, I must hide it better than I thought. 🙂
      Very interesting points you make. The passive-agressive way is extremely annoying, and quite transparent. Yeah, you guys in the States, and in turn throughout the world, are aghast at the happenings in the US, and beyond. Very interesting comment about racism in perfume, I shall have to ponder that. Politics yes ….. hmmmmm.
      The lariat from Pissara is very lovely, lasts forever, has a proper development, is sweet, but not the cavity inducing sweetness of others. Definitely the one of the collection I would wear on a regular basis. I will try the other new one this week, but have forgotten the name right now. I wish you your own peace in the mad world that is the USA at the moment. You live in an amazing country. Bussis. xxxx

  29. Koyel says:

    Well, of course I have to comment now. I always read APJ but rarely comment unless there’s a giveaway because I don’t really think I have anything interesting to say 🙂 It’s rare that a comment I might make here would contribute something to those reading my comment. I also sometimes read with a major delay (several weeks), by which time no one is even reading the comments. But I love reading the posts and the comments of others.

    • Undina says:

      When I get busy at work, I often read posts from the blogs on me reading list a week or two later – so i’ll read your comments if you happen to leave it there (just so you know 🙂 )
      Undina recently posted…Second Sunday Samples: Berdoues Collection Grands CrusMy Profile

    • cookie queen says:

      Morning Koyel!
      I always read comments, and come back to them weeks later to see if there have been additions! And talking of Giveaways, if anyone is reading this, I would like to add that you would all be surprised how many people do NOT get back to Portia when the have been the winner of a Giveaway. Annoying. Comments always always contribute something, love for a start. 🙂 Cool that you like to read others comments, so don´t be afraid to throw your own in!! Love Val xxxxx

  30. Mariann says:

    So I have a handful of blogs I happily follow via Bloglovin (best thing ever) and I will comment if its a topic I have something to say on or if its a weekly question or poll (im really enjoying the Saturday one). Some blogs however I never comment on but still enjoy reading. I do find instagram easier though, no logging in and it flags any reactions to my comment versus having to check my email and go find the original thread etc.

    • Mariann says:

      And to add: seems like many of us perfume aficinados are introverts? I can also relate to finding it intimidating but just want to say a quick thank you to you all for making it so easy and welcoming to participate here! I never commented online anywhere before I took up reading perfume blogs.

    • cookie queen says:

      Hello Mariann! I totally love Instagram too, especially the stories! I seldom comment on any blogs. And I need to retention here how stunned I still am at so many comments on this topic!! Gosh. I like the flagging on Instagram too, makes it so much easier to go back.. Often when I do comment on something I forget to go back and check anyway. I did not realise that so many perfumistas classed themselves and introverts, or at least I had not thought of it. Now that it has been brought up I see it very clearly and probably would need to include the challenge of depression with many too. Very interesting. And totally cool, perfume is so much more than perfume. Bussis. Keep visiting please! xxxx

  31. AnnieA says:

    Perhaps bloggers who would really like a bit of a chat have a Newbie Day or something. Oh, and I have Dusita’s Douceur de Siam and it is so so pretty I don’t even care it doesn’t last too long.

  32. TinaG says:

    Hey Val,
    I barely get time to read blogs let alone comment, and the issue that you’ve mentioned re: having to log in etc is definitely off-putting.

    I do feel bad that I don’t comment on friend’s blogs as much as I should…

    Tina G xx

    • cookie queen says:

      Tina, Good Morning! Stop feeling bad, unless it makes you feel good. In the big scheme of thins it´s not even on t he list. Talking of guilt …….. Aaaaaaahhhhh. Nice to see you! Big hugs and a virtual espresso doppio. Bussis. Val xxxx

  33. BBMc says:

    Hi Val,

    I read the blog and replies and such and normally only comment if I have something to say. Sometimes life gets busy and I forget to make a comment even if it is something close to my heart. I think the assumption that even if I dont make a comment, other people will has hung around in my head 😀

    • cookie queen says:

      BBMc! If everyone only spoke when they had something to say we would probably live in a much more pleasant world, as well as a quieter one! Hahahahaha. If I don´t comment on the sport – tough, it doesn´t happen. No sweat. Sometimes life gets busy. Indeed. Thanks for dropping by. Love, Val xxxxx

  34. Marjo says:

    Hi all, I started reading perfume blogs after stumbling on Olfactoria’s Travels, a couple of years ago (I really liked that blog). I love reading the blogs and comments, but I’m a shy person and English is not my native language. Added to that, I often feel that I’m not savvy enough on the subject and I don’t want to make a fool of myself. I do love reading the perfume blogs, though. You guys are great!

    • Undina says:

      Olfactoria’s Travels was one of the first blogs I read as well, and I also felt tense commenting there and on other blogs for the same reason as you. But, as many others have said earlier, most blog hosts are very warm and welcoming.
      Undina recently posted…Second Sunday Samples: Berdoues Collection Grands CrusMy Profile

    • cookie queen says:

      Hi Marjo! There is no making a fool of yourself anywhere on APJ, that is for sure, And if other blogs inspire that feeling then ditch them. Feel free to write in German if that helps, hahahahaha, I can´t offer anything else. Besides your English is excellent. What does savvy mean? It is perfume, not learning how to do a kidney transplant. Absolutely lovely to see you here. Thanks, lots of love, Val xxxxx 🙂

  35. Bernadette Winfield-Gray says:

    Val thank you for your considered post. Nothing like talking about responses to get a few 😉 I adore APJ for its friendly inclusive nature. I have peeked at a few other perfume blogs but my perfume knowledge is so small I feel out of my league there in terms of making a significant comment contribution.I love hearing of you and your family’s adventures. The Blondeswunder is such a fabulous name!

    • cookie queen says:

      Hi Bernadette! I never dreamed so many people would respond. What is perfume knowledge in the end anyway? You enjoy wearing something or you don´t. That is really the crux of the matter. Yes! Hannah is a BlondesWunder!! Glad you enjoy reading APJ because that is why we write. I too love the friendliness of it. After all, it was five years ago that I emailed Portia and asked if he had time on his travels to meet up in Vienna. I had no idea what would happen at this meeting and took the BlondesWunder with me for protection. Hahahahahahah. The rest is history. Love seeing you around Bernadette. 🙂 Hugs, Val and BW xxxx

  36. Jillie says:

    Hi Val – I just commented over on Vanessa’s Bonkers blog, so I don’t want to be boring and repeat myself!

    I think people get jaded as time goes by and perhaps laziness creeps in, with social media making it so easy just to “like” something and thereby saving one the effort of constructing a comment. But I do like to read other people’s musings.

    As for the annoying habit of losing one’s carefully crafted comment – my trick is to copy what I’ve written so that if it disappears into the ether when submitting, all I have to do is paste it.

  37. Undina says:

    I want to start starting that I almost never comment on Twitter, FB or Instagram.

    When I comment on blogs, usually it’s for one of the following reasons:
    1) the blogger is my friend – so it doesn’t really matter what the topic is: I want to spend time talking to a friend;
    2) I like the blogger and hope to become friends;
    3) I want to support somebody who is just starting: I have no way of knowing if this person even wants any interaction but since I remember how lonely it was when nobody read what I spent hours and even days writing, I try to be encouraging;
    4) I find something useful, interesting or entertaining on a blog, where I usually do not comment and want to express my gratitude.

    I think, with the number of responses on this post I can stop on that, and continue with the reasons of NOT commenting in my answer to Vanessa’s part ( ) of this improvised blogging event.
    Undina recently posted…Second Sunday Samples: Berdoues Collection Grands CrusMy Profile

    • Kate Apted says:

      💖 your response, Undina. Beautifully articulated. K xx

    • Jillie says:

      Dear Undina

      Your comments here and on Vanessa’s blog are spot on.

      I was so sad to read about your lonely time at the beginning, and I suppose I don’t always think of my comments as being a sign of support, but they obviously can be. I think also that we readers sometimes forget that the blogger is a real human being! The blogs I enjoy the most convey the unique personality of their authors and – as in the “real” world – we gravitate towards those with whom we identify and which talk about subjects we like as well as perfume, for instance cats and food!

      I count some bloggers now as actual friends and value them.

      So here’s a toast to all you lovely, intelligent, witty lot!


      • Undina says:

        It would be great to have a community toast over oceans and time zones, with wine, tea, coffee or any other drink of each participant’s choice, to celebrate the fact that we all – such different as we are – found each other and are able to contribute to each other’s life, be that in the form of post, shared pictures or comments.
        Speaking of coffee… I desperately need a cup.
        Undina recently posted…Second Sunday Samples: Berdoues Collection Grands CrusMy Profile

    • cookie queen says:

      Hi Undina! Not a lot I can add to that. As I have mentioned in a couple of comments, I was/am well and truly stunned at som many different thought on the topic. As Kate said you articulated is perfectly. I treasure the group/s that we are all part of. I also love the fact that I have had the opportunity to personally meet a number of the perfume bloggers, and none of that would have happened without the comment contact/rapport that kicked it all off. And now the cat is driving me crazy and I should be baking. Gotta run. Biggest hugs to the three of you. Val xxxxxx

      • Undina says:

        One thing that helps fighting off Rusty is… trying to take a picture of him. That alone can keep him away for a while from whatever I’m doing 🙂

        I know that some people are meeting with perfumistas just by the location (something like “I’m going to be in X – does anyone wants to meet and go sniffing?”) but for me that doesn’t work: I need to e-know the person first to want to meet with them. So communications in comments are extremely important, I agree.
        Undina recently posted…Second Sunday Samples: Berdoues Collection Grands CrusMy Profile

    • Cynthia says:

      Let me just add on to Undina’s comment. When I started my blog about a year and a half ago, she was the first person to comment I think, or at least the most consistent. It was so nice to be noticed by someone who had been in the perfume blogoshere for a while and is still much appreciated. These subtle words of acknowledgement are very encouraging and much appreciated!

      • australianperfumejunkies says:

        We have added you to the APJ blog roll at the side.
        Portia xx

      • cookie queen says:

        Hey Cynthia! Sorry I’m late. Great to know you have a blog. I cannot keep up. It is really great to receive encouragement, it’s tough to self-motivate all the time. Gonna pop over and have a look now. Good to hear from you! Pop back whenever you have a moment. Bussis. Val. xx

  38. Lynda says:

    My reason is as simple as this…I am fairly new to frag appreciation so often don’t know a lot of the perfumes that people are talking about and feel like as a novice I don’t have a lot to contribute but have a lot to learn!

    • cookie queen says:

      Hi Lynda! I love the the term Frag Appreciation. Sounds so much better than junkies or an OCD. Hahaha. I hope you enjoy APJ and pick up a few useful bits of info along the way. I don´t know half the perfumes people are talking about either, always something new to learn. It´s fun and legal, what more could we want? Nice that you said hello!! Hugs, Val xxxx

  39. cookie queen says:

    Me again. Checking in. What an amazing conversation going in. As I said. I’ll be back. Knee deep in perfume of all kinds, but I’ll be purchasing Malle! Gotta laugh. Stay tuned. ❤️

  40. Tiffanie says:

    I gave it some thought and realize that I comment more often on certain blog posts simply because they are published on a schedule, whether is is daily or weekly or whatever. It becomes a pleasant habit. But of course most blog activity is not on a schedule, nor should it be. It is interesting and fun to see which friendly face and what perfume subject will pop up in my news feed from one day to the next.

    Otherwise I admit I comment as moved to do so by whim, by how connected I feel to the subject at hand, and by the tone of the conversation. Happily the fragrance discussion around the internet is welcoming and lively.

    • cookie queen says:

      Hello Tiffanie, I think you are onto something with the habit thing. I look for certain posts on certain days because I know they are coming up. There are a fair number on a schedule though huh? I don´t think you can say much anyway, if there is no connection to the subject matter. That is one reason why alike button is sometimes good, just that folks at the other end know you had al look! Good to see you. Love, Val xxx

  41. lady jane grey says:

    Well, how did you like the new Dusita ? The notes list sounds cloying a bit…

    And then, well, you know, I find this whole social media thing annoying in the meantime. I like to discuss things live, in person – but I’ve never felt a need either to open my window and yell out to everybody around how do I feel that given moment…
    I too think that the blogosphere became diluted, everybody feels an expert these days…jj

    • lady jane grey says:

      It should have been “…everybody feels to be an expert these days…”, of course…

    • cookie queen says:

      Hi LJG! We can discuss this over coffee and I will bring the Dusita. No it is not cloying actually. I´ll message you, email you, and text you. Let´s see what gets through!! Hahahahahahaha. Lots of love. xxxxxxxxxx

  42. Asali says:

    A good point! I was exactly the same with my first posts. ( Yes, one first post ever @ alliamaredhead, one at CaFleureBon and one at thesoundsofscent !, so three firsts, if you will) who commented, what and why….
    As much as I love the interacting, the reason I even started the Sounds of Scent, was to be able to be as narrow as I liked. Talk about high brow things, if I felt like it, not having to feel that everything was to get more followers, and talking vintage for example might turn someone off.
    I think that as the community has grown massively over the last ten years, so has everyone’s need to be their own expert, and so understandably people much prefer forums to blogs, they perhaps also prefer the direct interaction with a lot of people rather than a single blogger.
    Lots of food for thought, and I see good commenting on this post 😊
    Asali recently posted…Souvenir Scent – Paglieri 1876, Agrigentum, Florentia, Venetiae (2016)My Profile

    • cookie queen says:

      Hi Asali, yeah, the community has grown nearly beyond recognition. It is absolutely mental. The perfume scene as a whole is kind of drowning in itself. This idea of the more followers, the better has taken over in so many ways. In the end you have to ask why. Lots of food for thought, as you say. I would love my own blog, but as I can hardly manage deadline twice month it ain´t gonna happen. 🙂 Bussis, Val xxx

  43. maggiecat says:

    For me, it’s when I have time. I often check my favorite blogs in the morning over coffee or at work over my desk-top lunch. Sometimes I have the time and energy to comment, and sometimes I just don’t.
    Wearing Shalimar Souffle today as the weather turns just a bit cooler here in Dallas.

    • cookie queen says:

      Hi Maggiecat! That sums it up for me too! All this online stuff does take up a lot of time and energy. I miss half the blogs anyway. I used to read a lot more but, yeah well, I am trying to get back into reading books. I actually have to put my phone and iPad in a mother room when I take a book out. Sad state. 😉 Have not tried the Souffle. Nice to see you. xxxxxx

  44. cookie queen says:

    Good Monday Morning to all of you amazing APJ commenters. If I have missed anyone out, or answered in the wrong place or what ever please forgive me. I will never ask a question before I go away again! Hahahahahaha. This has truly been a marathon and I have survived it and hope to survive many more. Your comments really touched me, made me think, and reminded me what a wonderful variety of kind, loving and interesting people we have, not just on APJ, but in the perfume world.
    So I am now off toward to churn out around 500 cookies, hopefully a little less. I´ll send a load of pics to Portia from the trip to ALZD/FiF. A million thanks for the enlightening comments, I know I speak for Vanessa, Tara and Thomas too. Hasta la vista …. Bussis, Val xxxxxxx

  45. Greennote says:

    Probably my number one reason for not commenting is, as many noted in the comments to Val’s post, not having anything to add to the discussion.

    I’ve been trying to tease out why I wouldn’t have anything to say. One of the major reasons is privacy. I have a very recognisable name (so I never use it in public online comments). I live in a small very interconnected place. And I’m still in the perfume closet, except amongst my immediate family and a few very close friends.

    Tied into this is where I live – regional, relatively remote Australia. Because this is a small place, I’m careful to edit my personal details to be non-identifying, which in turn constrains my commenting. I could tell you what I spend most summer weekends doing, but…

    And of course this also means limited access to perfume, with limited ability to smell recent releases. Which leaves online. And if you want to start a torrent of comments, just ask Australians about international postage and perfume. Many of you are in the same boat, I know. But samples are good, samples are fantastic. And swapping through fragrance forums is a thing of wonder and beauty.

    And ultimately perfume is frivolous. Sometimes a comment can feel so, so frivolous that I can’t bring myself to press post.

    I approach perfume and books in the same way. I want to experience them on my own terms, to form my own opinion. This means that my experience of perfume is very impressionistic. I’m utterly useless at telling you the best labdanum or peach scents. I’m reasonably good if you ask me for a good incense or green scent or what fragrance feels “happy”. And I think we all have our own little niches within perfume. So generally I won’t have an opinion on the best vintage, or big white florals.

    Because I feel my own perfume niche is quite niche, which often means limited distribution and expensive, I sometimes feel any suggestions I might make in the comments could be offputting, or perceived as a wanker/tosser. As will “when I was in New York, I…”, “when I bought two bottles of IUNX in Paris…”.

    And sometimes a blog urges me towards a longer, more considered reply. Usually I read blogs on my iPad, but would rather use a keyboard to be able to freely type and edit. Which involves, you know, getting up.

    I adore the posts that have personal detail. I deeply admire the bloggers who are courageous and brave and allow us into their personal lives. Portia’s Scent Diary, Val’s Cookie Run, Musette’s garden and dogs, March on life (both from Perfume Posse), The Black Narcissus in Japan recovering from knee surgery are ones that immediately come to mind. But I would rarely comment on these posts, so bloggers take comfort in the number of readers and shares rather than comments.

    So taking a leaf from Undina’s book, when *do* I comment. When I’ve smelt the perfume. When I’ve liked or loved the perfume. When bloggers ask for answers from real life and what you’re up to. When I feel I have something positive, meaningful and inclusive to contribute.

    I’m also more likely to comment on a closed Facebook group. Portia posts blog links and I sometimes comment there instead. (So to all the beautiful people who have public Facebook pages, sorry, there are so many times I want to comment or like but I just cannot bring myself to do it. It would out me to my non-perfume friends.)

    I’m more likely to comment if there’s a giveaway, but I also feel kind of like I’ve sold my soul and that my comment is inauthentic. I try now only to post if it’s something that I’m desperately interested. Or I comment and ask not to be entered, because really, I already have enough perfume for this lifetime.

    There are so many negative stories about Facebook, but the perfume forums have allowed me to be part of conversations with wonderful people. And perfume people are the best people. I love the communities I’ve found on Facebook and online. I love that the bloggers have got to know each other. I love that they get to meet up and sniff together and allow us to sniff along with them. I love seeing photos of them sneaking out from the anonymity of the written word.

    So even if us bunch of bookish, animal loving introverts feel like we have nothing to contribute, we’re still reading and loving your blogs.

    • cookie queen says:

      Greenote! (Fabulous name) I cannot thank you enough for such an in depth and personal post. A perfume closet sounds like a very fragrant place to be, and I totally get why you would prefer not to out yourself to the whole town, or perhaps by the sounds of it a hamlet? Do you have hamlets in Australia? Feel free to tell me what you are doing most summer evenings ……. 😉 Yes, there is more than need for samples, especially when the perfumes are otherwise so hard to come by. I sit with my arse pretty much in the perfumed butter here. Not much I cannot get hold of really. Ha! Many of us have enough perfume for a couple of lifetimes, and then there is Portia, who, at a guess haas enough for several eternities. 🙂 No one has to comment, all this blog stuff is for pleasure, and as soon as we feel we HAVE to, then it is over.
      Taking time to read is contribution enough. As Vanessa said, she enjoys writing for herself, as I do, and when that disappears? Time to move on. Not to say I don´t panic every time my bloody deadline comes near, I procrastinate to the max.
      As I have mentioned several times, I had absolutely no idea what a can of worms this question would open, and it has been amazingly touching. As regards to getting up to make a comment on the desktop? Sheesh. Who needs that action?
      Now I have to run, gotta get some pics off to Portia! Thanks again. Big hugs, Val xxxxx

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