CostCo Story.

Heya APJers,

I thought I’d give you a story about multinational conglomerate CostCo. Thanks to my mate Wendy whose story this is

Portia xx

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind him, “My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I’d better see a doctor.”
“Listen, you don’t have to spend that kind of money,” Mike replies. “There’s a diagnostic computer down at Costco. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what’s wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars – A lot cheaper than a doctor.”

So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Costco. He deposits ten dollars and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample…. He pours the sample into the slot and waits…

Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: “You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity…. It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping @ Costco!”

That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled.

He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample from himself for good measure.

Joe hurries back to Costco, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.

The computer prints the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren’t yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don’t stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better!

Thank you for shopping @ Costco!

29 comments on “CostCo Story.

  1. einsof says:


  2. SallyM says:

    hahahahahaha!! excellent – ty for the laugh 🙂

  3. haefennasiel says:

    Nyahahahaha!! Thanks for the Friday laughs, Portia! XD

  4. Martha says:

    Hahahahahaha!!! I love Costco.

  5. Azar says:

    HA! I love this one! Thank yo, Portia and Wendy too, for this laff (I can’t spell withot the broken keys). Reminds me a little of the medical diagnosis in the movie “Idiocracy”.
    Azar xx

  6. Jackie says:

    Oh, Portia!
    You make me laugh.
    I may send a dancing dog video.
    (don’t make me do it.)

    • australianperfumejunkies says:

      That is EXCELLENT!!!!

      • Jackie says:

        Hey Portia, I’m making several Blends 4 Friends, using a food grade completely edible alcohol. It’s not regulated by OSHA here in the States & has no transportation restrictions. Couldn’t find any Australian post restrictions nor international shipping regulations for it. Are you aware of any that would be helpful to know, as I’m formulating? J

      • australianperfumejunkies says:

        I think it is illegal because it’s flammable, not because it’s ingestable or not. They allow oils but don’t like alcohol.
        Portia x

      • Jackie says:

        Hear that. Thanks. I can make oil blends easily.
        (This alcohol has a high flash point, but they may not like any alcohol. Will continue to look for the regs.)

  7. Martin says:

    That was wonderful Portia. I am still laughing.

  8. Holly says:

    Great start to the weekend and thank-you for brightening my day!

  9. Kandice says:

    Enjoyed both the Costco story and the dancing dog video! Thanks for making me smile 🙂

  10. Tatiana says:

    LOL, thanks for the laugh. Sending the link to this one to my daughter. My DH would just roll his eyes at me.

  11. LANIER SMITH says:

    Brilliant and just the note for the day to make me laugh.
    LANIER SMITH recently posted…SMELLY FRIENDS! ~ 3rd Annual San Francisco Artisan Fragrance SalonMy Profile

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