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Sandra
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Hi dear APJ. How are you doing?
I have a strange question for you because usually I am the type of perfume lover who wears perfume for myself. Mainly taking into consideration the weather, my mood, my plans for the day before I spray with abandon.
My husband has always been open with me whether or not he enjoys a perfume. So has my son. They are both easy to please.
Since we moved here to the Netherlands we are getting used to a very different medical approach when it comes to my sons food allergies. He has some life threatening allergies and our world has been turned upside down since September 2017.
To make a long story short, since mid December, my son has had various tests and then in January they did a provocation test for one of the allergens. Everything is fine but it has been an extremely stressful situation for both of us. All of our thinking from Austria has been basically put to the test. Don’t get me wrong, everything for the better.
For Whom Do You Wear Perfume?
In situations such as these I find it difficult to find a perfume to wear that may comfort him. Normally, as I said above, I wear perfume for myself. However, when I was wearing my vintage Guerlain Shalimar to comfort myself, it elicited sharp cries of disgust from my son. Seriously!? How can he NOT like vintage Shalimar?
Argh, so I pulled out Indult Tihota for the next couple of days and that was far smoother. Still at the age of eight, when he is under stress, he comes up for a cuddle. So, I started thinking of what I should be wearing to the hospital. If to wear perfume at all…
I came to the conclusion that not only should I wear perfume that comforts my son, but also something that will not call the attention to the other patients. On two occasions I wore one spritz of Tihota. Two other occasions I wore one spritz of Casamorati Dama Bianca. One I wore Malle’s Dries van Noten.
I decided to go for the lighter, sweeter perfume, knowing that my son enjoys those smells. Nobody was the wiser and all the appointments went off without a hitch. Thank God. We have a two month break now and we head back for another appointment in May. Thinking about it now, I will surely have to choose a different perfume again with the spring weather in full swing. Perhaps a spritz of Neela Vermeire Creations Ashoka or how about a spritz of Osmanthus Yunnan?
Do you wear perfumes for other people when you are in a stressful situation? Or would you simply go without for the day? Obviously, for my son, I am willing to change things up. Truthfully, I Am willing to change my routine for any given situation.
Oodles of fragrant kisses,
Sandra
Australian Perfume Junkies 
Hey Sandra,
Hug Sean from us please.
Maybe I wear perfume for me but I also factor in my whereabouts for the next couple of hours. It won’t change what I wear but it can change how much I wear.
Portia xx
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Hi Portia, Sean has been hugged! Thank you. Good point – I do that too. Just adjust how much I wear. Sandra xo
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Sandra, sending hugs to you and your son.
I wear perfume for myself. My partner is basically anosmic; so frustrating! Although he did detect and like David Jourquin’s Cuir Altesse last winter.
I must admit, though, that I love it when others make positive comments about what I’m wearing, and I do get those, usually from my 10 year old daughter!
As one who grew up in the 80s, I am unafraid of gutsy perfumes, but I do keep in mind where I am wearing it, as Portia mentioned above. While I can only shake my head at the perfume police, I would never intentionally, or, I hope, carelessly, actually upset others, especially not when they are unwell.
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Thanks Sue! Very kind of you. Cuir Altesse is beautiful and how lovely that he could detect it. The 80s were great and my mom loved wearing dialed up perfumes! Your daughter sounds like a budding perfumista. 😊 Sandra xo
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Hugs for your son. Hospitals are stressful. I mostly wear my perfume for myself (my own son is a teenager so there aren’t any more snuggles, sniff). I think my husband has some anosmia because he doesn’t smell much of my perfume (or other smells, either!). I work at a preschool so I do moderate my choices for work and probably underspray. I am always curious about people in various groups whose search for me perfume seems tied to “compliment-getting” – I get my joy from the smells themselves. I’m usually surprised if someone even mentions it!
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Thank you MMKinPA. The stressful part of the hospitals is that we are getting to know a new system which is very different from the one in Austria. I can understand enjoying a compliment but I don’t search out a perfume for that purpose. Gosh to be honest – most people I know here do not have any interest in perfume at all. Sandra xo
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Me, myself and I
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Love it Gina! Sandra xo
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I wear perfume only for myself because absolutely no one in my closer circle of friends and family is specially interested in it. They rarely compliment me on my perfume so I don’t feel the need to please anybody but myself. I work in my home office, so that’s also taken care of. When I go out among people I choose perfume according to my mood and spray it all over me.
If it were for somebody very close and important to me, like my child, I would completely change my habits if necessary. I have more than one perfume which makes it easier to make changes 😉
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Hey Neva, You make a very good point in that I too have more than one perfume and can therefore change when necessity arises. Sandra xo
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I wear fragrance for myself but certainly I do take into consideration the medical needs of others. My husband has asthma, and some fragrances do seem to trigger his attacks, so I have gotten rid of those as well as the few for which he does not care. After all, why would I wear a scent that repels my partner. Hoping your son’s issues are identified and his health gets sorted out soon.
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Hi VerbenaLuvvr! OMG – I have asthma as well and I find it really difficult when a perfume suddenly starts irritating me. I immediately set it off to the side and give it to someone who will love wearing it. You are very kind to do that for your husband. But seriously – what else are you going to do?! 😊 Sandra xo
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Hi Sandra and Son. Hmmmmm. Mostly for myself, but not always. A number of my close friends, including some Indigo colleagues, and everyone at my hair salon, know I am a perfumista. Sometimes I will put on something specifically with them in mind, as they do sometimes ask me what I am wearing. And I like it if they like it, you know? Dries has won, hands down over the last months. Great post. Tell your child I love him and to hang on in there with all the tests. You too. xxxxxx
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Hey Val. I love it that you wear perfumes like that. Dries van Noten is fabulous – thank you for telling me all about it. We love you and miss you. Sending you and your beautiful family lots of hugs. Come visit soon. Sandra xo
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I wish for everything to go as smoothly as possible for your son during the next round of tests. And, of course, you should wear something that comforts him (BTW, Shalimar – vintage or not – smells quite unpleasant to me; and Tihota, when I tried it, was nauseating, so you can see how different we all are – and my nose by now is probably slightly more sophisticated than your son’s 😉 ).
While wearing perfumes for mysel mostly, same as others, I take my surroundings into the consideration. Especially now when I work in a small office with a couple of people who do not care much for perfumes. While I’d love people to like what I’m wearing, I would settle for them not noticing them 🙂
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Thank you Undina! You made me laugh out loud when I read your take on Shalimar and Tihota! Thanks for the chuckle. Yes, not noticing my perfume is also a very good thing. Sandra xo
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Sandra, hope your son will get well soon. Allergies are nasty 😦
I mostly wear what I want but there are a few perfumes (for instance chypres like Paloma Picasso or Knowing) that I don’t choose when I’m supposed to be in a close space: I had complaints before.
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Thank you Diana. Now I too have started a list on which perfumes I should not wear in closed spaces. Lesson learned. 😅 Sandra xo
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I definitely wear perfume for myself. It’s a mixed blessing, but my husband, due to a brain injury cannot smell or taste. On the one hand that means that I can happily douse myself when I’m home with him. On the other I don’t get any feedback as to what I’m wearing. When I go out in public I spray with a liberal hand unless I’m going to work where I try to pick either a lighter scent or just go easy on the trigger. I definitely find perfume comforting, and there are times that I am specifically going for that sense of comfort and safety, but I don’t wear perfume for others at this point, or at least not primarily. Good luck with your son — your choices seem lovely but also light enough not to offend him. I adore Shalimar, but I can see this being problematic for a small child as it is rich and oppulent, strong.
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Thanks shiva-woman, I am so sorry to hear that about your husband. It must have been extremely frustrating for him at the beginning. I cannot imagine what it must be like. Yes, you are right – Shalimar can be a bit challenging, even for adults. Sandra xo
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Hugo for you and Sean. When going at the hospital I usually wear the Cologne à la russe by Institut Très Bien. Soft and gentle but strong enough.
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Thank you Marzipan! Hugs are always welcome. Now I am going to go and look up your perfume suggestion – all new to me. 😀 Sandra xo
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Hugs I wrote
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Vanilla seems to be a very safe choice. Unfortunately Shalimar smells like petrol and burning tyres on me, I don’t get any vanilla at all. Dries Van Noten is a nice choice too, or a very tiny bit of Musc Ravageur (the body butter is perfect for that). Guerlain Cuir Beluga is another favourite, love to wear it to bed.
I am retired so I am mostly at home or outside and spray whatever I want, as much as I want, but I do try to tone things down for yoga class.
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Hey Tara C, I adore vanilla. Cuir Beluga is an all time favorite of mine, especially in the cooler months. Thanks for the good laugh about Shalimar! Thank goodness I don’t get any petrol or burning tires – that would make it a scrubber for me. I will need to try the Musc Ravageur body butter soon. I understand younin respect to your yoga class. Sandra xo
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I’ve spent a lot of my life in and out of hospital, and I have very strong scent memories from it, even from the earliest of years when I was not-yet-three. Hospitals are so full of alien, jarring smells, that I love the idea of you wrapping him up in a smell that is yours, and also chosen carefully for him. Providing that extra layer of comfort.
But I am a selfish beast, and wear perfume for my own pleasure.
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I only wear perfume for myself. Unless I want to show it to my friends but that is about a particular perfume not making an impression.
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I also select my perfume for myself based on my mood and weather mostly, and I tone it down depending on my whereabouts so as not in infringe on others in case they don’t enjoy perfume.
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I wear perfume solely to please myself. But the amounts vary depending on what environment I’m going to be in, if I know I’m going to be in close quarters with other people. My hubby doesn’t dislike any of my frags so I’m lucky there, and my workplace is casual so that’s easy too. If I knew that someone actively disliked something I wouldn’t wear it, as I wouldn’t want to be so inconsiderate. I can totally understand your little man’s aversion to Shalimar, though I myself love it, it’s probably just a bit ‘big’ for him yet. Hoping you get to the bottom of things without much more toing and froing to hospital.
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