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Post by Portia

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Hello Fragrant Fumies,

Ainslie Walker is off doing amazing stuff so I’m filling in today, she’ll be back in a fortnight.

I thought you all might like a chance to unleash, a place to vent, a moment where you can really let us know what you think about some of the complete shit that has been released under then guise of fragrance. Now you must back up your snark with reasons other than it smells crap. Also if someone trashes your favourite that doesn’t mean your favourite has been invalidated, it means your favourite doesn’t work for someone else. Please don’t get snippy and thin lipped if Andy Tauer, Taylor Swift, Bertrand Duchaufour or DKNY get lampooned. This is a fun vent that we can all have a bit of a laugh about. Extra points go to well crafted snark, brilliant analogies, finely honed butchery and elegant put downs.

SNARK! Why Did They Even Bother?

Right, I’ll get you all started.

Insta-Ranges

Yes, you’ve all seen them. One minute VC&A, Armani, Givenchy, YSL, Oscar de la Renta, Bulgari et al have some fairly limp fruitchoulis on the market shelves next to their one big blockbuster hit from the 60s, 80s or naughties and next moment there are 12 deluxe fragrances in uber simple packaging with one of each frag style included; a musk, an amber, BWF, leather, cologne, aquatic raspberry lotus anise laundry detergent. For F*#ks Sake. Seriously, maybe three in the line are worth sniffing and the rest I wouldn’t use in the bathroom as deodoriser.

These are not the only protagonists in the drama either, it’s becoming more & more common in the niche realm too. Zero scents to 20 in 3 years. PLEASE!!

Surely it also makes no market sense to put all your poorly thought out, boringly designed, committee created dross in one foul swoop. Wouldn’t it make more sense to release two REALLY FREAKING GOOD THINGS and maybe add one every couple of years? Wouldn’t that lend a sense of anticipation, give people something to talk about, make us want and dream and imagine?

Coco Mademoiselle by CHANEL 2001

Fragrantica

Fragrantica gives these featured accords:
Top: Orange, mandarin orange, orange blossom, bergamot
Heart: Mimose, jasmine, Turkish rose, ylang-ylang
Base: Tonka bean, patchouli, opoponax, vanilla, vetiver, white musk

Flankers

Now for this one I do understand the solid business sense behind it. Of course it’s easier to sell a mediocre scent if you piggyback the fame of your houses blockbuster scent from decades ago. I really like the idea of summer versions of the heavier offerings, even like the idea of a yearly release of something crated to enhance your wearing of the original. You know the original Opium or JPG Le Male were pretty full on in an office mid summer, I get it. Make an annual summer flanker in a fun bottle that can also become a collectable. Heaven!

Please don’t create a whole new scent, nothing to do with the magical original that you have slashed and burned till it is a whisper of its former glory and that no self respecting perfumista would use to light a Bar B Q, and link it to your cash cow. It drives me FREAKING WILD! Just two examples on the one scent are Coco Mademoiselle and Coco Noir, either of these are fine scents on their own and I would definitely have liked them a LOT more if they hadn’t been linked to one of the department stores glittering fragrant jewels Coco. ACK! Why?  Imagine if they’d called it CHANEL Noir or Gabrielle, put it in that killer black bottle and I am 100% sure it would still have sold like hot cakes while not watering down the cache of the gorgeous original.

OK, so what gets your goat? Go crazy.
Please don’t be offensive or take offence on someone else comment, we are here to have a laugh today.
Portia xxx