.
Post by Poodle
.
Secretions Magnifique by Etat Libre d’Orange 2006
Secretions Magnifique by Antoine Lie
Photo Stolen Fragrantica
Fragrantica gives these featured accords in one line:
Fucus, azurone (iodized accord), adrenaline accord, blood accord, milk accord, iris, coconut, sandalwood, Opoponax
Etat Libre d’Orange describes this as the “ode to the pinnacle of sexual pleasure.”
Umm…no.
There so much hype out there about this perfume I had to share my thoughts on it. In my opinion, Secretions Magnifique does not smell like sex. It’s not even sexy for that matter. Sex has a primal, animal quality to it even if you’re not in the mood and decide to lay back and think of England. Maybe on some level the notes call to mind certain body fluids but they are all contained in test tubes and Petrie dishes here, more like a lab or a crime scene instead of what remains clinging to warm sheets and skin after a sexual interlude. There’s no warmth here.
I’m not one of the people who wants to vomit when they smell this fragrance. That seems to be a common response to it. On my skin it’s VERY synthetic with flowers. Fake flowers. I can wear it but I find it to be depressing. It smells clinical. If I close my eyes and really think about the odor I am reminded of the years I worked as an Emergency Medical Technician. A friend said it reminded her of an emergency room too. It does, and to dissect it by the notes is difficult.
Photo Stolen WikiMedia
Secretions Magnifique is a scent of cold linoleum floors and fluorescent lights. It’s the air in the emergency room which seems a little chilly and the beads of sweat from the anxiety felt when you’re sitting there. It’s the look on the faces in the waiting room as they try not to cry when their Saturday night ends in a twist of metal on the road and someone close to them being looked at by a team of doctors behind a curtain. There’s that churning in the stomach from wondering is this going to turn out okay or will it be far worse than you imagined. It’s the metal of the stretchers and the hospital equipment shining in that cold, harsh light. It’s the bleach and disinfectants used to clean up what remains of someone, or of someone’s bad decision that will haunt them for a while. If you make it to the end there’s an almost plastic flowery sandalwood finish. I guess that’s the part where the patient gets out of the ER and into a room. Slightly warmer but still a far cry from sexy.
Photo Stolen Fragrantica
No one is wearing Secretions Magnifique as a cuddle up scent. I don’t think it’s awful on me, just very, very cold. I’ve heard people say that some Chanel’s are cold due to the use of aldehydes. Those folks have never sniffed this I imagine.
Further reading: Olfactoria’s Travels and Bois de Jasmin
LuckyScent has $85/50ml
Surrender To Chance has $4.75/ml
Have you dared to sniff this one? Is it sexy to you?
Hugs
Poodle
Love this article Poodle especially “Sex has a primal, animal quality to it even if you’re not in the mood and decide to lay back and think of England.” This does not sound like something I’ll be reaching for ever. SOTD is a gennerous dose of Agent Provocateur thankfully much sexier than a night in the ER ; )
LikeLike
I laughed at that too! Brilliant!
LikeLike
Have you forgiven me for sneaking this under your nose?
LikeLike
All is forgiven!
LikeLike
Stick with the AP girlfriend. I can send you a sample of this. Who knows, you might love it. 😉 I might just have to many scent associations to appreciate it.
Hugs
LikeLike
Just had to say what a brilliant post, Poodle. I’ve never smelt this, nor have any desire to, especially now! I can’t help wondering who would actually find this a pleasure to wear – maybe there are some people on whom it wouldn’t be so unlikeable? I guess it’s an interesting concept, fragrance as “art”, but not my cup of tea, and in fact I need a really strong cuppa after reading your evocative description.
LikeLike
Maybe too much time in the ER jaded me and ruined this one for me. It’s not an easy perfume by any stretch. I can wear it but there are plenty of folks who have sniffed it and it made their stomachs turn so I think it’s a rare person who loves this.
Hugs
LikeLike
Poodle,
This is an interesting one. I get metallic flowers and blood from Secretions Magnifiques. It’s much more wearable than I expected but still it is slightly retch worthy.
You put it all so beautifully.
Portia xx
LikeLike
Sounds like it wears pretty similar on us. Must be our scent eating skin that tames the savage beasts. Lol.
Hugs
LikeLike
Fab post Poodle. I haven’t sniffed this and don’t really have any intention any time soon of doing so. It doesn’t interest me one little bit. Secretion, ooze, leakage? Gag. Forsooth.
LikeLike
I’m not sending you any. If I did I think you truly would not speak to me again. I can assure you that this one is not a Cookie Queen perfume at all.
Hugs
LikeLike
Thank you for your well done warning, Poodle! I will just say NO to seaweed, azurone and blood accord and stay away from cold and scary machine sex in the local emergency room.
Azar xx
LikeLike
I’m not sure I could imagine you wearing this one but it is bizarre and worth at least a quick sniff. I’m sure the oddity of this probably helped put this line on people’s radar when it was released and it still does I think.
Hugs
LikeLike
I have smelled it and it was indeed nauseating. I would never consider putting it on my person.
LikeLike
That’s the common reaction. Lol. I’m not sure how many people actually give this skin time.
Hugs
LikeLike
Thanks Poodle! i have curiosities about this one… mostly because the idea of a perfume infusing a creation with some fluid of theirs is not exactly new… once a supposed requisite step in the process of alchemy.
it reminds of of the moment with synthetic tuberose when all i can smell is band-aids or plasters. perhaps, as you, a left over from days in the medical field.
even the phallic label seems to be crying more than… celebrating.
i think this sounds like perfection for celibates and medical fetishists. people who like their liaisons sterile and contained.
(and now you’ve made me want to sniff it desperately, to give some validity to my opinions.)
cheers Poodle!!
LikeLike
I love how excited you are over this. If you smell it you might never read another review of mine. That wouldn’t be good at all.
I sometimes get the bandaid note from tuberose too. I kinda like that one though.
Hugs
LikeLike
Great review of SM, Poodle! Am I the friend who thought it smelled like an ER? The friend you tricked into sniffing this by putting a mysterious blotter to smell in my hand and then running away? 🙂
LikeLike
Ding! Ding! Ding! You have guessed correctly. It was indeed you. 🙂
It was a bit of trickery wasn’t it? But now it’s done and I think you’ve recovered from the trauma of it all and I swear I will never do that to you again. Well, not with that particular perfume at least. You did try to get back at me by spraying me with panther pee, aka Opus VII, but it was no match for my wacky skin chemistry.
Hugs
LikeLike
It was the best perfume trickery of all time! I would never have smelled it otherwise. In all honesty, I didn’t think it was bad — it just smelled very metallic and clinical. I admit that for what it is, it is well done.
Now I can think of a whole bunch of other fragrances that are worse and don’t get nearly as much electronic ink spilled (My Burberry, j’accuse!).
AND Opus VII was lovely on you. So is Mitzah. I am envious!
LikeLike
I’ve only tried Secretions Magnifiques once, and I’m finding myself slightly nauseated even thinking about it. I put a dab on the back of my hand from a sample vial, and at first it just smelled kind of like aromachemicals that had gone bad, which I found less-than-pleasant but not too unsettling. But then I guess it decided to settle in get ..uh.. molesty, because then it smelled like it had its way with the back of my hand. It was very unsettling at that point, and it made me feel very uncomfortable. I kind of appreciate it from an artistic standpoint and the visceral reaction it was able to provoke, but I couldn’t stand to wear it.
LikeLike
I can see how that would happen. Bravo to you for trying it even if it was a disaster. I think the extreme responses to it, even the negative reactions, are far better than having people sniff it and quickly forget about it. Nine years later and people are still talking about it. It’s almost like its it’s own category of classic.
Hugs.
LikeLike
Yuck. I wore this once and it was an unsettling experience. But I hope it never gets discontinued/reformulated!
LikeLike
Willa, unsettling is good word to describe it. They’ve managed to really make people react and remember their experience with Secretions Magnifique. That’s more than a lot of perfumes can say. It’s interesting too that even if people don’t like it they still somehow appreciate it in some strange way.
Hugs
LikeLike
I’ve read several reviews of SM, and while they were all quite different, no one seems to actually want to wear it. Still, given the chance I’d take a sniff. Have you smelled Accident by Brent Leonisio? I thought it was very evocative and disturbing, memorable but not wearable.
LikeLike
I have not tried that one. I’ll have to look for it.
Yes, wearable is not a word that’s going to come to mind when sniffing this. I know not everyone thinks the same scents are wearable either. I suppose it’s all a matter of taste. There are people who rave about perfumes that, to me, smell like dirty diapers. Part of me thinks I’d rather smell like this perfume than one which makes people think I may have lost bowel or bladder control.
Hugs
LikeLike
It sounds so terrible that I want to try it! But honestly the whole concept is strange to me. Even if they did manage to “capture the essence” of sex I don’t really think I’d want to wear it:)!!
LikeLike
I think there’s an element of morbid curiousity that makes people want to smell it just to see if it’s really as bad as people say. It is a strange concept but it seems to work somehow.
Hugs
LikeLike
I’ve tried it a long time ago but, to tell the truth, I can’t remember much about it. The only thing I remember is that I felt cold and sad. So there, your word “depressing” fits perfectly. I said this somewhere else before, I really want to know if there is anyone who actually wear SM and call it as his/her “signature scent”.
LikeLike
Yup, it’s sad. I too wonder if anyone has this on the top of the favorites list. I remember seeing it mentioned in a magazine as a great floral scent but for the life of me I can’t recall which one. I wonder if people started to rave about it if it would develop a real fan base. Sometimes I think if you tell people something is wonderful they believe it or at least pretend to just to go along with the trend.
Hugs
LikeLike
Poodle!!!!! It’s the best review for this perfume I’ve ever read or hoped to read. I haven’t tried SM and have no intentions to since I despise the idea (and, frankly speaking, I don’t like the brand for their esthetics). I almost didn’t read your review… And I’m happy I decided to read it: it’s fabulous! It’s much better than regular “I felt nauseous” reviews. Bravo!
LikeLike
Great review! I’ve gotten compliments when I have worn SM in public, strangely enough. On me it is simply a very cool, milky and metallic white floral. Not pleasant but rather fascinating.
LikeLike