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Post by Portia
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Hello APJ Family,
Memes are like 10 second songs, once we would listen to a song that told a story and it could help formulate our vision of the world. Nowadays they put 4 minutes worth of fabulous music and clever lyrics into a short paragraph or sentence. Down the bottom is one that really captures my soul.
Photo Stolen Flickr
Surely this is what we all feel.
Portia xxx
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Post by Portia
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So my mate Ainslie Walker sent me this and through it I was smiling like a fool. It’s SO FREAKING CUTE! Nearly 5 minutes of CuttleFish Facts done in such an entertaining way that you will definitely want to pass on the link. Who knew that CuttleFish were such quiet little creatures of such excellent factoids? Certainly not me.
Photo Stolen Wikipedia
I hope you enjoy True Facts About The CuttleFish as much as I did.
Thanks Ainslie,
Portia xxx
Hey there Perfume Junkies,
Today we are taking a bit of a break from fragrance because I have a confession to make. OMG! I am completely, madly and deeply in love with Chris Pratt. He should come hang with the crew and me. Like every day, forever.
Below is a video of him being mildly amusing and super dreamy.
Photo Stolen Flickr
In the comments tell me what you think Chris Pratt should wear as fragrance. I’m thinking something super delicious, up to date and edible like Christian Dior’s newest prive, Fève Délicieuse. He would smell killer in its sweet, resinous, caramel. MMMMMMMMM
Enjoy and Chris Pratt Mash Up.
Portia xx
Facebook Meme
Hiya APJ Crew,
As the movie has been re-released I thought it high time we revisited the FIFTY SHADES OF GREY (A Husbands point of view). I still laugh out loud when reading it and coming back to it after this long while I read it with new eyes and had to hold myself a bit still so I wouldn’t wake the whole house.
This is a RePost of an original Australian Perfume Junkies piece from 2013
I hope you all get a smile,
Portia xx
Photo Stolen Book Depository – Box Set $40 Delivered Worldwide
FIFTY SHADES OF GREY – (a husband’s point of view)
By Pam Ayers (MAYBE!)
By John Summers (DEFINITELY!!)
The missus bought a Paperback,
down Shepton Mallet way,
I had a look inside her bag; ….
T’was “Fifty Shades of Grey”.
Well I just left her to it,
And at ten I went to bed.
An hour later she appeared;
The sight filled me with dread…
In her left hand she held a rope;
And in her right a whip!
She threw them down upon the floor,
And then began to strip.
Well fifty years or so ago;
I might have had a peek;
But Mabel hasn’t weathered well;
She’s eighty four next week!!
Watching Mabel bump and grind;
Could not have been much grimmer.
And things then went from bad to worse;
She toppled off her Zimmer!
She struggled back upon her feet;
A couple minutes later;
She put her teeth back in and said
I had to dominate her!!
Now if you knew our Mabel,
You’d see just why I spluttered,
I’d spent two months in traction
For the last complaint I’d uttered.
She stood there nude and naked
Bent forward just a bit
I went to hold her, sensual like
and stood on her left tit!
Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;
My god what had I done!?
She moaned and groaned then shouted out :
“Step on the other one”!!
Well readers, I can’t tell no more;
About what occurred that day.
Suffice to say my jet black hair,
Turned fifty shades of grey!
OMG!! I am sitting here and have had to shut my office door because I’m making stupid noises and tears are streaming down my face. This is so freaking funny and so awful. I can’t help but put myself in the bosses place and it’s a wretched place to be.
Photo Stolen Wikipedia
Please enjoy.
Portia xxx
Hi there APJ,
Today’s post is one of the most wonderful things I have ever seen in my life. Sometimes a little video can make your day seem lighter and brighter. If you haven’t seen it before then I promise you a rare treat. For those that have seen it, watch it again. It only gets better every time you see it. Drew Carey, Richard Simmons: Living Scenery from Whose Line Is It Anyway.
Today I am taking a perfume break. Hanging out with Jin, fixing my BFFs parents electrical problems and riding the motor bikes. Then I’m off to work tonight where I will probably be wearing Vintage Boucheron Femme. Loads of it. YUMMO!
Photo Stolen ScreenInsults
No matter how shit your day, I think Drew Carey, Richard Simmons: Living Scenery may just turn you around
Be well.
Portia x
Hi there APJ,
Sometimes while trolling the net I am lucky enough to fall across some gold. Seriously. This is doing the rounds and you may have seen it but I thought it worth a share.
Photo wn.com
I have whole weeks when I feel like poor Fanny Flambo and this lucky man found her in a Pound Store. All I can imagine is the damage this doll could have done if we’d had her in our childhoods.
Portia xx
Hello Lovely APJ Crew,
Here I have a story that will warm the cockles of your heart. I wish all Grandmas were so outrageously outspoken, especially with today’s politicians. Wouldn’t that be something.
Portia xx
Photo Stolen FotoPedia
Lawyers should never ask a Georgia grandma a question if they aren’t prepared for the answer.
In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, ‘Mrs. Jones, do you know me?’ She responded, ‘Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I’ve known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you’ve been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you’re a big shot when you haven’t the brains to realize you’ll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.’
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, ‘Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?’
She again replied, ‘Why yes, I do. I’ve known Mr. Bradley since he was a
youngster, too. He’s lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can’t build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.’
The defense attorney nearly died.
The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said,
‘If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I’ll send you both to the electric chair.
Hey there Cat Lovers,
This is clever, dumb and fabulous. Great story, voice and writing, even the ending where it becomes an ad is excellent.
WIN!
Portia xx
Hello APJ Crew,
This came into my inbox the other day. They are remaking the 1976 Sissy Spacek film Carrie. So in an outrageous and absolutely terrifying prank the gang put together a coffee shop and wired it up for some horrifying Hollywood halloween drama. You have to see this short clip. It’s not scary but the patrons in the coffee shop are shitting themselves. FAB U LOUS!!!
Photo Stolen IMDb
Photo StolenIMDb
I hope you enjoy….
Australian Perfume Junkies 