Dudley Hugs A Tree

Dudley was walking through the bush, when he came upon a old bearded bloke hugging a magnificent Eucalypt, with his ear firmly against the trunk, moaning softly.

“Just out of curiosity, mate,” he asked, “what the hell are you doing?”

“I’m listening to the music of the tree,” said the scruffy looking fellow.

“You’ve gotta be kiddin’,” scoffed Dudley.

“No way mate, it’s the most beautiful thing you’ll ever hear,” said the bearded bloke, “Give it a try.”

Dudley was skeptical but curious, so he wrapped his arms around the tree and pressed his ear up against it.
Quick as a flash, the bearded bloke slapped a pair of handcuffs on him, took his wallet and car keys, stripped him naked, stole his clothes and fled.
Two hours later an enormously muscled and hairy woodsman strolled by and spotted the stark naked Dudley handcuffed to the tree.

“Bloody hell, what happened to you?” he laughed.

With enormous relief Dudley told the bloke the whole terrible saga about how he got there. When Dudley finished telling his story, the woodsman shook his head in sympathy, walked around behind him, kissed him gently behind the ear and whispered, “This isn’t your day, cupcake…”