Saturday Question: What is your “Unwearable Masterpiece”?

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Portia

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Hello Fellow Fumies,

At APJ we have a Saturday Question. Everyone gets to chime in with an answer, chat with other responders and it’s a fun event each week. Taking sides never means taking offence and everyone keeps it respectful and light, even though we can sometimes trawl the depths.

The idea is you’ll see it on the weekend or chime in through the week. Hopefully you will come back regularly and see if anyone has responded to your comment and you can reply to them. The aim is to generate real conversation and connection even though we are scattered around the globe.

 

Over 100 responses I will draw a Scent Sample Pack (from my collection)
This week:
Sample Pack

  1. Clinique Aromatics In White
  2. Dior Prive Granville
  3. Oliver & Co Resina
  4. Nasomatto China White
  5. Vintage YSL Y

 

Last Weeks Winner: Cassieflower

eMail me at (portia underscore turbo at yahoo dot com dot au) with your address please

Saturday Question: What is your “Unwearable Masterpiece”?

I saw this question somewhere recently and loved it.

You know! The one you bought because it smelled so weird and cool and pushed every boundary. While you were testing it you thought to yourself, “Bloody hell! Wait till my perfumista buddies get their noses on this shit! They are going to go spare!” You’ve brought your precious, expensive, magical elixir home with you and given it a whirl. “EEEEEW! Did someone fart?”, “What is that bloody smell?”, “Oh Gawd, the dog’s dropped one!”, “That’s given me a headache” or the famous one from Jin, “Cow POOH!”

My Answer:

OK, I have a few for different reasons.

Let’s talk about masterpieces, I think we all agree that the Slumberous brand has had more than a few. Something in the base of the Slumberous early fragrances gives Jin nightmares. It was uncanny. I’d be up late, blogging away, give myself a goodnight spritz of any of the Slumberhouses in my collection. 2 hours later Jin would be up and awake with night terrors. So, the Slumberholses got moved to happier homes.

Another masterpiece that gave us a fright was La Via del Profumo’s Oud Caravan #3. I was happily wafting my sample of it one afternoon early on in our relationship and as Jin arrived home he said in his (at that time) heavily accented English, “COW POOH!!” O M G! Laughed. Sadly it has forever put that thought into my head about it.

Lastly, I know not to spritz anything with a warm amber base less than 15 minutes before we leave the house because it tickles Jin’s nose and I get moaning complaints.

My Saturday Question to you is:

Saturday Question: What is your “Unwearable Masterpiece”?

137 thoughts on “Saturday Question: What is your “Unwearable Masterpiece”?

  1. I guess for me it will probably be Secretions Magnifiques although even Mr. Marzipan does like it on my skin….it’s a seeweed/marine/ocean accord with a touch of creaminess. I am waiting for the two older mini Marzipans to come home from university so that they can test it out themselves and see how it reads on them.

    congrats to cassieflower!

    Portia- DO NOT ENTER ME ( I have been so blessed lately with goodies it’s time to share the love and loot)

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  2. When I wore my 1990 version Chanel no 5 Cologne, warm summer evening…Johnny said I smelt like an old lady! I haven’t worn it since.
    One night watching TV with me wearing Santal Royal he asked me if I had farted???? No I didn’t , it was Guerlain. True story.

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  3. I have two “unwearable masterpieces.” I’m calling them masterpieces because they were/are wildly popular and well-selling fragrances, but awful on me. Chanel Coco Mademoiselle and Thierry Mugler’s Angel. Over-the-top nauseating, can’t get out of my nose, headache-inducing for me while wearing. Both sweet fruitchoili’s I think; however, I don’t know what else they have in common other then being successful and well-loved by many, and just don’t work on me.

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      • ha! I would be one of those misunderstood people who likes it! But seriously, when Angel first came out (which was when I wore it) it was a groundbreaking scent (first gourmand) and when worn judiciously was beautiful and different. Same with Giorgio (which I also wore when it first came out). However, when these scents became ubiquitous and worn in excess anywhere and everywhere and then had a huge amount of copycats following, I can see how this would lead to them become disliked by others as well as causing headaches and nausea. Also, reformulations plays into all of this as well.

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        • Yup. Giorgio was a goody. A shame they both suffered from bad reputations. A matter of measured application might have helped matters. I think too many people were wearing these beauties, not because they enjoyed them, but because everyone else was. They were probably responsible for overspraying as well. Although….I might have gone heavy on the Angel from time to time. Not admitting anything 🤐

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          • You followed them around? As in stalked them?? Oh, wait. They probably couldn’t see you anyhow. Apparently, at 93 lbs. you become invisible in a crowd. Nice super power, Mrs. M!
            Glad to have your corroboration on the Angel tampering. This MUST stop 😡

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  4. Two immediate suspects: Angel and Dans tes Bras. Both instant scrubbers. Angel almost made me nauseous and Dans tes Bras was like a tomcat had sprayed me. Not sure if these appear in the perfumista lexicon under ‘masterpiece’ but they get an awful lot of love from a lot of people.

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    • Ooh, just thought of another. Now don’t all aim your stinkeyes at me when I say Joy. Yes, the JP masterpiece! It just doesn’t work on my skin, and I gave it a fair go.

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      • Do you not like it or it gives that weird indolic note? I’ve got a vintage Joy edt and two Eau de Joys but I just don’t love them and rarely wear any of those. Jasmin is not really my favourite note, so maybe it explains a lot.

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        • I love jasmine, the more indolic the better (I wear Lush Lust) so why Joy doesn’t work for me is a bit of a mystery. I don’t like how it turns sour on my skin, in fact it smells a bit like vomit. I guess you can’t win ‘em all. Mine was an edt from the early 2000s so perhaps the vintage would be better. It did smell lovely on my sheets though.

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          • Vintage Joy was gorgeous…but needed to be in pristine condition which is impossible to try now unless it’s a freshly made batch because top notes go off over the years.

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      • Cassie, Cassie, Cassie. Tsk, tsk. When will you ever learn 🙄. Joy is too ladylike. You are not a lady. Sorry, but in your heart you know this is true. We are the thugs, the stumbling brutes and street-wise tramps to Mrs. M’s ethereal, pirouetting, 93 lb. meringue-ness wonder of ladylike grace. Joy is for people like her dear. Not for the likes of us. Yes. The truth is hard, but there you go 😩

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        • Ah damn, I’m crushed😟 But I wear high heels and red lipstick, and I had my brows and lashes done this morning. WHY can’t I be a laydeee?

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          • Ahh well then, with an effort like that, who am I to deny you. You are granted membership into The League of Ladies. Let me know what it’s like. I am firmly in Camp Tramp today. Sporting granny panties and bagged out sweat pants. Washed out t-shirt five sizes too large. Eyebrows that have decided they belong in my hairline. This will all be rectified on Thursday with brow and hair appointments. But, will this be enough 🧐

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          • Thank you 😊 does that offer expire at midnight? I’ll make the most of my temporary lady status. Small problem: there’s nobody around to do my bidding as I recline on my chaise being all sultry and imperious.

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    • Angel is defo a masterpiece, not just because I’ve loved for many years, but for changing the game. Of course, now we kinda wish it hadn’t done that since we’re overloaded with gourmand scents.

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          • Yay for team Angel. Diana do you know if it’s been changed from the original formula? It does not wear exactly the same on me now. Is it my nose? Or is tinkering to blame? I asked Mrs. M as well. Would love opinions from both of you.

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          • Yay, a fellow Angel fan! Yes, it’s been tempered with, of course, – nothing is permanent in this world. I don’t know about the 90-es batches but it looks like that the biggest change happened somewhere around 2010. It’s easy to recognize those with more “oomph”: the juice is brownish, the label or the engraved inscription says “Mfd for Thierry Mugler Parfums” instead of “Mfd for CFG” i.e. Clarins Group. The first digit of a batch code is the year of manufacturing but since they repeat every ten years, this may not be of much help. I own two bottles: 2007 and 2010, the younger one is on the sweeter side (still good). I need to find a sample of a more recent refromulation lying somewhere in my house and check it out.

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          • Great and information packed post Diana. I’m going to take a gander and see if I can’t stumble across some older Angel. I figured something was up. Angel was still a very noticeable presence on me the morning after the night before. And that lingering far drydown was just magic. Not the case with the current version.

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      • Just straight up tomcat pi$$. I kid you not. And I absolutely abhor mushrooms too, they should be banned forthwith. Me no want fungusy ‘fumes.

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  5. I am not sure I have an unwearable masterpiece, but I wanted to say that COW POOH made me laugh out loud. I live in the U.S., and after yesterday, and the last few months, and the last two years, I needed that. Bless you, Portia!

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  6. Your Oud Caravan #3 comment made me plotz. It was the first Oud frag I ever sampled, back in the beginning of my journey down the rabbit hole, and my reaction was “Oh, HELL no!!” Now, of course, years later, I have moved on to far more fearsome ouds. Recently I sampled Malle’s Dries Van Noten, which I had read so many raves about, and I recoiled. Not for me.

    On a more positive note, a recent purchase has become my biggest compliment-getter. Jovoy Private Label. When I first smelled it, I was unimpressed, and went for Jovoy’s Psychédélique instead, a bottle of which I drained in record time. I recently revisited Private Label and…Mad love!!❤️

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    • rprichpot, do you have an oud to recommend? I am trying to teach my nose oud. I complained loudly about my one attempt. The Oud Affair, Vilhelm Parfumerie. An aggressive bully of an oud! Just can’t do it. Seriously are they all like that? Is it an acquired taste? Like oysters (love ‘em)? Is it actually worth acquiring the taste? Is it as awful as learning to smoke? I don’t get it.

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  7. Ooh, what a tough question, Portia! I’ve read some disturbing reviews on Baccarat Rouge 540, Joy, Samsara, almost any blackcurrant scent (the notorious “cat pee”. I love cats, and I’m quite familiar with the said olfactive impression, but no, I’ve never ever smelled it in the ‘fumes) and Oudh Infini by Dusita. To me they smell fine if not great. Joy brings me no joy, but that’s personal, I guess.

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        • I hear you there. That’s why I don’t want to try Talismans – Sogno Teale, Mat and their cronies. I might love them and the entry fee is mighty steep. I remember you commented on having tried Sogno Reale. Was it amazing? What am I missing. Very conflicted about these. 😧

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          • No not me…must have been someone else on the Sogno Reale.

            like you I have not sought out certain lines for the same reason. I feel there is enough out there to satisfy myself with without breaking the bank.

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      • I very much agree about Baccarat Rouge. The whole MFK line I find much more ‘entry level’ and basic than most would have you believe. They are pleasant but not very….cerebral? High brow? I know that makes me a snob but I don’t care. Its not like I don’t love my sweet gourmands, which are certainly not high brow….I just don’t find MFK compelling 😉

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          • In fact I have MFK Amyris Femme since last year, and have had many compliments when wearing it. But these are not the kind of perfumes you need to analyse, simply well crafted, pretty perfumes. So try a few! But I guess Carner Barcelona and many other brands have scents fitting in the same category.

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          • Interesting to hear that Ingeborg. I don’t think of myself as necessarily seeking out cerebral perfumes at all. They either smell good to me or not. I will give them several wearings particularly if I am trying a new note that is foreign to my nose though. But I don’t want to have to work too hard at it. Oh dear. Guess MFK goes back on the list. And Carner Barcelona? Some of those are on the list too. And staying on. Appreciate your opinion 🙂

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    • Baccarat Rouge 540 clearly has a bad rap, lol! I’ve decided to wear it tonight since I’m staying home; to me it’s a mix of strawberry and iodine notes, not sweet at all. I do understand why it makes some people screech that’s why I won’t wear it when I go somewhere public. The sample was pricey enough so yeah, I won’t be getting a FB.

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  8. Bizarrely, Chanel No 22. Straight up boring soap. Not even an Imperial Leather type soap. Worse than the $1 bar at the $2 shop. In the bottle, DIVINE. On paper, DIVINE. Hits my skin and I press the zzzzz button. Two hours later, I get some semblance of aldehydic floral beauty. I cannot submit myself to those 2 hours.

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  9. I have at least 5 to 10 perfumes which I cannot wear due to allergies. Vintage Chanel no. 5 is one of them! Shared a big bottle with my sister many years ago, a present from her godmother who stopped wearing perfume after having to scrub off no. 5 because it smelled of cat pee ( she found out on the way to a galla evening and had to find water outdoors).

    Other than that, Shalimar doesn’t seem to work well for me. I haven’t tried the vanilla flankers, but at least one of the lighter concentrations, still not for me.

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  10. I adore the smell of Chanel 19 on the card… on most everyone else…but it is totally unwearable on me. Sadly even my close friends admit that it changes into something very unpleasant on me. 😦

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  11. it might be vintage chanel antaeus for me. It is the only perfume so far that seems to give allergic reaction though i am not sure it is the perfume or something else. When i got first vintage splash of antaeus, i poured in a plastic atomizeur that has too big a spray because it was not proper perfume atomizeur but one of those plastic bottle sprayers you get from stores in which you may also fill water for cleaning purposes. I also have another splash bottle of vintage atomiseur as well as a newer formula of antaeus from mid 2000s which I have not used yet. Maybe one of these days i will them and see whether vintage antaeus is the culprit or it was the original atomiseur. For now, I cannot try because my antaeus stash is in storage.

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  12. Rasasi Jurrah, Abdul Karim Al Faranasi Musk Aswad and Abdul Karim Al Faranasi Mukhallat Sahrawi. In order: barnyard piss, camphor and deer ass, and finally camphor and puke in a hot car. I gave them all away.

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  13. Last time when i’ve spritzed some baccarat rouge 540 extrait, i got a pretty bad feedback from several people and most of them were “did someone made a visit to a dentist? cause it smells exactly like that” . I was like “whaaaat??? Really???”. Well, after a second person from my entourage told me the same thing, that it smells really potent and reminds him of a dentist, i gave up. I mean, to me it doesnt smell like a dentist room or something but i cannot wear it and get bashed every time, it feels bad.

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  14. Apologies to the creators but these did not work for me. I don’t think these are necessrily masterpieces but they are generally loved.

    Frederic Malle Dries Van Noten – I had to choose between smelling good and breathing (I think there is some kind of musk that kinda made it very difficult to breathe)
    Le Labo Rose 31 – unwashed socks

    Rejected based on how it smelled on paper:
    Diptyque Oud Palao – vomit
    Tauer No 11 Carillon Pour Un Ange – rotting garbage
    Serge Lutens Tubereuse Criminelle – ice pick through the nose and straight to the brain

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  15. My unwearable masterpiece will have to be Carnal Flower. It smells like cat pee on me. I KID YOU NOT!. I do not know why, but it really smells like cats’ pee on me and even my dogs turn their noses at me and refuse to come when I wear it. My husband hates it. I have to wind the window down if I wear it when we go out. But that also mean I know exactly what to wear when he annoys me 😀

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  16. I didn’t buy these, but have tried them more than once to see if I was just having a bizarre one-off reaction:

    Iris Silver Mist. Icicles hammered into my sinuses, followed by a cloud of dust of old skeletons.

    Rozy EDP. My skin makes passionfruit go absolutely monster, drowning everything else out in waves of sticky, sickly, fake-fruit drink. I have mad love for Vero’s perfumes that don’t contain this stuff–and the Voile of Rozy is one of my absolute favourites–but it seems that I just can’t deal with scent that contains passionfruit.

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    • Yay Crikey. So glad someone else had trouble with Iris Silver Mist. It’s a no fly zone for me. I get pure carrot juice with a handful of earth. May as well bathe in V-8.
      Also on my ‘what am I not getting here list’ La Fille de Berlin. Metal toothpicks.
      Passage d’Enfer – really cheap soap from beginning to end. And Pulp which smells like a regurgitated fruit salad on me.

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      • Marcella- la fille de berlin is gorgeous on me! Whyyy does it not work for you? Hmph!
        Not madly in love with ISM but after crikeys description I might see if I have any left in my sample and try again. I adore the freezing opening.

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  17. I’ll bet I can find a few others lurking around in my cupboard but I’m relieved to have fessed up to these. And now y’all are gonna be thinking I’m some kind of a philistine, I know…just rolled off of the cabbage truck. That sort of thing. But I don’t care. It feels good to have confessed. And anyhow I like Dans Tes Bras. So there 👅

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    • I’m not sure that it’s reformulation that can turn a masterpiece into a disaster. I think it’s more about how your skin and the fragrance interact. Above all, how we perceive individual notes/perfumes is unique to each person. And then there’s the matter of personal taste. So quite a few variables at play, I suppose.

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