shopping

Sung by Alfred Sung 1986

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Post by Portia

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Hi there APJ Frag Family,

I’ve had this Alfred Sung bottle for years and at one point it was a favourite. Since falling well and truly down the fragrant worm hole it has been sitting at the back of a boxless bottle box getting zero love. I was sure it was a BWF but couldn’t put my nose-memory on how it smelled so at about 3pm today I opened up my shirt and double spritzed…….

Sung by Alfred Sung 1986

Sung Alfred Sung FragranticaPhoto Stolen Fragrantica

Parfumo gives these featured accords:
Top Bergamot, Galbanum, Hyacinth, Mandarin, Orange, Ylang-ylang, Lemon Heart
Heart: Iris, Jasmine, Lily-of-the-valley, Osmanthus
Base: Amber, Orange wood, Sandalwood, Vanilla, Vetiver

WOW! Tania Sanchez wasn’t wrong when she called this a “Jasmine Diaper”. We have some serious poopy action going on and I LOVE it. Sung is so 1980s it hurts, we have a creamy citrus floral opening. HA! I know right. What the f*%@k does that even smell like? Well it smells big and naughty and completely over the top. Beyond your wildest BWF Skank Dreams Sung delivers.

Then Jin came home and we went and saw a movie (Ricki and the Flash – Meryl Streep and her daughter play with Kevin Kline and Rick Springfield. It’s wonderful. Do yourself a favour.) so I got to really appreciate the fragrance through the film.

All-Alfred-Sung-bridesmaidsPhoto Stolen Nordstrom

Sung smells good in an “Allergies to fragrance, you must be joking dear” kind of way. The “I couldn’t care less if you do anyway” or ” Oh do choke quietly darling, we have guests” school of thought and action. It’s big, it’s floral aldehydic, it’s fruity, it’s poopy and it is obnoxious. I freaking LOVE IT!

The photos I’ve chosen are some of Alfred Sung’s designs. Yes he is still designing and nowadays he is doing some really fun retro bridesmaids dresses that are affordable and fun. Loads of jewel bright colours but there are also a lovely lot of very pretty more muted shades to pick from too. If you’re thinking Mad Men Wedding then these are totally going to rock your socks off. Below is a ferocious bride-zilla photographed among the chandeliers looking exactly as Miss Haversham must have looked when she was given the news. Aghast, beautiful, rich and terrified. It’s probably how every bride feels inside somewhere deep down.

Sung is exactly the fragrance she would be wearing, to make a big impression as she walked down the aisle. Her sillage a wake that dolphins could gambol in. The unforgettable, once in a life time (yeah right) dream moment when every guest takes a deep breath in homage to a perfect bride.

alfred-sung-wedding-collection Wedding HousePhoto Stolen Wedding House

So to be honest Sung was a little overwhelming in the film. I was glad that there were only 3 other people in the cinema and that they were up the back. Though I did not find it disatracting, there were a few times when I moved and great gouts of floral and fertiliser flavoured air swooshed out of my top. It was a perfect accompaniment to the film and I bet it’s what Meryl Streep’s character Ricki wore, so it was kind of perfect.

Fragrance Shop has $20/50ml before coupon
Surrender To Chance has samples starting at $3/ml

What has been hiding in your cupboards that should get an airing?
Portia xx

Inside the Wardrobe of Lily Allen: Film

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Post by Portia

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Heya APJ,

I love Lily Allen. When I met Jin she was his favourite and he would make me listen to her stuff every car trip we took. So ingrained with the happiness of finding this cool and funny guy is a soundtrack of Lily Allen’s voice overlaying everything. Every adventure we embarked upon in those first months, dates, shopping, meeting friends, everything we did: Lily Allen was with us.

Lily_Allen WikiMediaPhoto Stolen WikiMedia

So when I found this fun video showing Lily Allen’s wardrobe I was super happy because she seems as fun and cool as I imagined her and so much of how she dresses is how I like to live my life. Grab great bits from loads of random places and try everything, keep what you love, curate and create a life of bits & pieces that you like and love.

I hope you like this sneak peek into the wardrobe of someone who seems to have looked at life with wit and intelligence and made it fit her.
Portia xx

Inside the Wardrobe of Lily Allen

Morn to Dusk by Annick Menardo for Eau D`Italie 2015

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Post by Portia

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I’ve always loved these Eau d’Italie bottles. They are sleek and heavy, love that they are opaque so I don’t need to worry so much about light damage and I imagine they look super elegant on your dresser if you are a one bottle person and you like to show your choice off prominently. It seems a very nice mix between stark, modern design and old fashioned porcelain.

Morn to Dusk by Eau D`Italie 2015

Morn to Dusk by Annick Menardo

Morn to Dusk Eau D`Italie FragranticaPhoto Stolen Fragrantica

Fragrantica gives these featured accords:
Top: Bergamot, lily of the valley
Heart: Vanilla
Base: Musk

Vanilla is king in Morn to Dusk. My skin gives the most incredibly warm vanilla opening that doesn’t show a hint of the bergamot and lily of the valley until I’ve been wearing the fragrance for a couple of minutes. Then they come through and add this lovely wet green vibe that seems to be neither and both, it floats above the vanilla giving life and lift, creating a cool breeze over the dry sands of this interestingly desiccated vanilla. Through the heart the vanilla becomes sweeter and warmer like it was originally, not foody but a furry/fleshy vanilla. A rich, chewy consistency like glutinous toffee yet unpalatable in a cake/sweets sense.

Morn to Dusk Eau D`Italie misty morning meadow blickpixel PixabayPhoto Stolen Pixabay

This short note list is totally missing large chunks. The vanilla towards the mid wear mark that lasts for hours is a crackly honeycomb and amber mix and I get something dry grass-ish like bamboo, vetiver or papyrus cutting through the rest making it less intensely vanillic.

I can’t believe the tenacity of Morn to Dusk, it will certainly wear for that length of time, longer on me today in the soft spring warmth. I put Morn to Dusk on at around 10am and now it’s about to turn dusk and I am still nicely fragrant. I like it. A lot.

Morn to Dusk is the kind of spritz & go frag that I longed for before I became a serious perfumista. It lasts all day, smells great and goes through some interesting phases without being a completely different scent. From leaving the house in the morning to getting home after a dinner you will smell good, sweet and dare I say it, delicious. I can imagine the guys wearing it in suits or jeans and the girls in gowns or jeans, across the board yummy.

Morn to Dusk Eau D`Italie Bangkok_at_dusk WikiMediaPhoto Stolen WikiMedia

Further reading: Colognoisseur
LuckyScent has $140/100ml
Surrender To Chance has samples starting at $4/ml

Morn to Dusk is so wearable. What is your Vanilla? Which Eau d’Italie do you like?
Portia xx

L'Heure de Nuit by Thierry Wasser for Guerlain 2012

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Hello Stink Monkeys!!

In 2012 L’Heure Bleue had its 100th birthday. In  honour of that extraordinary milestone Thierry Wassser and the Guerlain team put together a fabulous set of three new fragrances built around the L’Heure Bleue magic but in essence dedicated to different hours of the day and the only one that made it the regular range is…….

L’Heure de Nuit by Guerlain 2012

L'Heure de Nuit Guerlain FragranticaPhoto Stolen Fragrantica

Fragrantica gives these featured accords in one line:
White musk, orange blossom, iris, heliotrope, jasmine, rose, sandalwood

I have been trying to get this post written for years. I buy a decant and wear it for a day or two, get ready to write my post and “swoosh” the damn decant disappears. Clearly I have been putting them down and in a rush to clean, for one reason or another, the decant gets put away. WELL….. I found one of my earliest L’Heure de Nuit decants (I think) from a Ruth K split. It’s the softest violet grey colour in a smaller decant, so pretty.

Of course the Guerlain mini bee bottle is reason enough to wish for this fragrance but what does it smell like? OMG! How I love this magical fragrance. It is candied violets and musk sticks, sugar plum fairies and hearts desire.

lheure-de-nuit-guerlain Sugar Plum Fairy SammyDavisDog FlickrPhoto Stolen Flickr

Sheer, smooth and elegant. A cool, sweet smelling beauty that is light as air and hefty as a bowling ball. The first hours sillage is really amazing, especially considering how soft the fragrance feels to wear. I know the notes don’t list licorice or anise but I smell them softly woven through the flowers, lightly rooty and diaphanous white floral that really conjures up the feeling of evening in the placid cool of winter Paris, where the air is crystal clear and you are warmed in your long-johns and puffer jacket. MMMMMM.  The sense of quiet expectation hinted at in L’Heure Bleue is fully realised in this modern lilac reinterpretation. Sweet, floral, magical expectation. On a night like this……

Jin Waffle ParisJin having a hot banana chocolate waffle dusk Paris Jan 2013

Longevity is out of this world. I spritzed L’Heure de Nuit at around midnight last night, it’s nearly 2pm and I still have a sweet and creamy fragrance dolloped over a wash of much nicer than laundry musks. It’s still clean and fresh smelling and when I stick my head into my T-Shirt and the freshness is mixed with my after sleep man smell the whole fragrance is really yummy.

Further reading: Candy Perfume Boy and Alembicated Genie
Guerlain counters at larger department stores or Guerlain stand alone stores stock L’Heure de Nuit
Surrender To Chance has samples starting at $6.50/ml

Did you get to try L’Heure de Nuit?
Portia xx

L’Heure de Nuit by Thierry Wasser for Guerlain 2012

/ australianperfumejunkiescom / 4 Comments

Hello Stink Monkeys!!

In 2012 L’Heure Bleue had its 100th birthday. In  honour of that extraordinary milestone Thierry Wassser and the Guerlain team put together a fabulous set of three new fragrances built around the L’Heure Bleue magic but in essence dedicated to different hours of the day and the only one that made it the regular range is…….

L’Heure de Nuit by Guerlain 2012

L'Heure de Nuit Guerlain FragranticaPhoto Stolen Fragrantica

Fragrantica gives these featured accords in one line:
White musk, orange blossom, iris, heliotrope, jasmine, rose, sandalwood

I have been trying to get this post written for years. I buy a decant and wear it for a day or two, get ready to write my post and “swoosh” the damn decant disappears. Clearly I have been putting them down and in a rush to clean, for one reason or another, the decant gets put away. WELL….. I found one of my earliest L’Heure de Nuit decants (I think) from a Ruth K split. It’s the softest violet grey colour in a smaller decant, so pretty.

Of course the Guerlain mini bee bottle is reason enough to wish for this fragrance but what does it smell like? OMG! How I love this magical fragrance. It is candied violets and musk sticks, sugar plum fairies and hearts desire.

lheure-de-nuit-guerlain Sugar Plum Fairy SammyDavisDog FlickrPhoto Stolen Flickr

Sheer, smooth and elegant. A cool, sweet smelling beauty that is light as air and hefty as a bowling ball. The first hours sillage is really amazing, especially considering how soft the fragrance feels to wear. I know the notes don’t list licorice or anise but I smell them softly woven through the flowers, lightly rooty and diaphanous white floral that really conjures up the feeling of evening in the placid cool of winter Paris, where the air is crystal clear and you are warmed in your long-johns and puffer jacket. MMMMMM.  The sense of quiet expectation hinted at in L’Heure Bleue is fully realised in this modern lilac reinterpretation. Sweet, floral, magical expectation. On a night like this……

Jin Waffle ParisJin having a hot banana chocolate waffle dusk Paris Jan 2013

Longevity is out of this world. I spritzed L’Heure de Nuit at around midnight last night, it’s nearly 2pm and I still have a sweet and creamy fragrance dolloped over a wash of much nicer than laundry musks. It’s still clean and fresh smelling and when I stick my head into my T-Shirt and the freshness is mixed with my after sleep man smell the whole fragrance is really yummy.

Further reading: Candy Perfume Boy and Alembicated Genie
Guerlain counters at larger department stores or Guerlain stand alone stores stock L’Heure de Nuit
Surrender To Chance has samples starting at $6.50/ml

Did you get to try L’Heure de Nuit?
Portia xx

Ubar by Robertet for Amouage 2009 remix

/ australianperfumejunkiescom / 12 Comments

Hi hi hi APJ,

I recently rediscovered an Ubar decant and have been spritzing madly. It is on equal footing with Interlude Man as my favourite Amouage and please don’t ever make me choose. Both are so freaking good and when I wear them I feel that I could rule the world.

Ubar by Robertet for Amouage 2009 remix

Ubar FragranticaPhoto Stolen Fragrantica

Fragrantica gives these featured accords:
Top: Tangerine, orange, litsea cubeba, violet leaf
Heart: Jasmine, orange blossom, ylang-ylang, tuberose, freesia, lily-of-the-valley, palisander rosewood
Base: Sandalwood, vanilla, patchouli, vetiver, copahu balm, black amber

Ubar is a rarity, a gorgeous spiced white floral and woods extravaganza that is so chock full of ingredients that it’s hard for me to distinguish them. Ubar wears like it’s its own scent and nothing like anything else ever created. Ubar is like soup simmering on the stove: the whole house is filled with the smell of soup and as ingredients get put in the pot if you’re chatting in the kitchen then you’ll be able to pick some of them even if you haven’t seen what went in and if you look in the pot you’ll see some of the ingredients rise and fall. If though you are in your bedroom and the smell is wafting temptingly towards you then all you can smell is the melange, the soup itself. Maybe garlic will be noticeable or beef or tomato but everything else becomes a part of the soup. That’s how I wear Ubar.

ubar-amouage Chicken_noodle_soup WikipediaPhoto Stolen Wikipedia

Ubar starts out sharp green and citrus but already you can smell the base underneath them and the white florals just waiting behind the scenes to jump out at you and whirl you away on a veritable cloud of bouquet. The patchouli, resins and sweet vanilla all create the most stridently glorious dry down that hums away for ages on my skin and all the way to tomorrows bath or shower I can smell the magic that is Ubar.

When I think about it Ubar seems to be a cold weather fragrance, and I do love it to warm me up, but to really experience Ubar best you need to wear it in stifling heat. It blooms unbelievably and shows a whole other side to its luscious self.

Today is the last day of summer in the north and winter here in Australia. Perfect time at both ends to wear Ubar.

ubar-amouage sand-dunes unsplash PixabayPhoto Stolen Pixabay

Where do I wear Ubar? I love to give myself a big spritz and do very mundane things like cleaning, clothes washing and grocery shopping. I get funny looks sometimes because I’m so obviously scented for an EVENT yet there I am buying milk, bread and a bag of tomatoes. Fuck It! Fragrance helps me to celebrate the fact that I’m alive, helps me to waft on fabulously even through the most hum drum moments because I am the star of my life. So are you, go live life AND hug yourself from me.

Further reading NowSmellThis and PerfumeShrine
FragranceNet has $185/100ml unboxed Before Coupon
Posh Peasant has $4.50/.5ml

What fragrance makes you feel like the tedious is fabulous?
Portia xx

EDIT: Originally I had Creations Aromatics as the perfumers but the Amouage crew told me it was Robertet so I have fixed it.

Eau de Gloire by Marc-Antoine Corticchiato for Parfum d’Empire 2003

/ australianperfumejunkiescom / 8 Comments

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Post by Portia

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Hi there Fragrant Family,

When Michael Edwards of Fragrances Of The World fame had his cleanout this was one of the fragrances he gave me. I had liked it very much from my original Parfum d’Empire sample set (that I can’t find on the site anymore). So my review today is based on an older bottle like the top picture in the review. I have no idea if the fragrance has been reformulated for the new bottle but I’ve read nothing on the boards to indicate there has been a change.

Eau de Gloire by Parfum d’Empire 2003

Eau de Gloire by Marc-Antoine Corticchiato

Eau de Gloire Parfum d`Empire FragranticaPhoto Stolen Fragrantica

Fragrantica gives these featured accords:
Top: Bergamot, amalfi lemon, lavender, rosemary, neroli, tangerine, myrtle
Heart: Tea, star anise, licorice, immortelle
Base: Leather, tobacco, olibanum, french labdanum, oakmoss

The first fragrance that Parfum d’Empire brought to the world in 2003, modeled on Marc-Antoine Corticchiato’s scent memory of his boyhood home Corsica, Eau de Gloire is literally translated as Water of Glory and dedicated as an homage to all those who’ve left their homelands to go into the world and conquer. Especially to his own home island boy Napoleon Bonaparte.

Photo Stolen HistoryFiles

The first words that jump into my head when wearing Eau de Gloire are Bracing, Citrus, Salt, Squeaky, Floral, Masculine. Yes, I know we don’t deal in masculine/feminine archetypes here but Eau de Gloire definitely skews towards what my upbringing has defined as a masculine scent, which does not minimise how spectacularly it will perform on the girls so please don’t get up in arms.

Eau de Gloire opens with a powerhouse icy cold screech of bergamot, citrus twig and broken branch and briny sea air then the herbs and flowers come and take the edge off. As the rosemary, lavender and star anise waltz in they warm the scent slightly but still it stays cool and laid back. I don’t believe in fragrances for the sexes but I keep imagining Eau de Gloire on a very masculine man though I would love to see how it smells on a woman. There is a squeaky dissonance here, the trilling of the citrus which lasts well into the heart of the fragrance and the rumbling of the incense, anise, oakmoss and tobacco. Unfortunately my nose misses the tea and leather in the composition completely, maybe you will have more luck.

Eau de Gloire comes and goes from my ability to smell it, very interesting, but when i concentrate I can. It’s like it hides from me to make me seek out its loose billowy freshness. At about 3-4 hours I get more soft and flowery notes over the various resins, this fragrance grows more interesting and textured as it matures. At 7 hours it is soft as butterfly kisses and almost as ephemeral.

Eau de Gloire Parfum d`EmpirePhoto Stolen Parfum d’Empire

I hadn’t worn Eau de Gloire for a while but last night when I wore it to work there were three compliments on my fragrance throughout the night. One of whom I am making a small decant for because her eyes were shining with enthusiasm. I think we have a new perfumista in our midst.

Further reading: Olfactoria’s Travels and Chemist In A Bottle
Parfum d’Empire has €120/100ml
Libertine Parfumerie has $199/100ml and FREE AUSTRALIAN SHIPPING!
Surrender To Chance has samples that start at $3.50/ml

What have you worn lately that people have noticed?

Please treat yourself well, it’s hard to be happy when there’s someone being mean to you the whole time.
Portia xx

Greg Lauren by Ralf Schwieger for Barneys New York 2013

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Post by Portia

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Heya APJ,

Here is another from the Natalie APB Gift Bag. As I slowly make my waythrough them I am finding it increasingly interesting the things that she felt I ought to try, or that would be very me. This looks like a 5 or 8ml decant and when Natalie gave me the bag she said to pay special attention to anything larger than a sample.

Greg_Lauren_and_Elizabeth_Berkley Wikipedia

The backstory is that Greg Lauren is the nephew of “Ralph”, an actor turned artist and fashion designer. His 2016 S/S Mens is very down & out in Beverly Hills, working in a coal mine, plantation worker, op shop chic and sleeping rough. I saw only two pieces in the whole parade that had me even mildly interested but I think perhaps I’m no longer his target market. The boots in the first half reminded me of Van Gogh’s boots and some of the hats were killer in an Oliver kind of way. Actually, even though I hated most of it and thought it pretentious pap I did enjoy the theatricality and the bleak colour palette, there was also a fair amount of whimsy in there.

Greg Lauren by Barneys New York 2013

Greg Lauren by Ralf Schwieger

Greg Lauren Barneys New York FragranticaPhoto Stolen Fragrantica

Fragrantica gives these featured accords in one line:
Sea notes, tonka bean, vanilla

Greg Lauren for Barneys is really good. Fragrant but demure, yet it is insistent that you notice it. It calmly straddles the department store/designer/niche divide and elegantly plants itself as something other, something a little more interesting. For me the sea notes reign, they are a great crossover between the gym set aquatics of the 1990s and the modern beach scent, there is something oddly disquieting about the notes as if you are near the boardwalk and every now and then you get a hint of the seaweed and scunge collected there.

Tonka and vanilla are there right from the start and in the beginning it is ALL about the thick, sweet resinous warmth which is cut through with this seaside something other. My mind is taken firmly to one of the Andrea Maack frags and also to a crew that did seasonal frags that I liked but can’t remember their name. There is also a salty-buttered popcorn thing that wanders around and in & out.

Greg-lauren-edp-barneys-new-yorkPhoto Stolen Barneys New York

Every Greg Lauren for Barneys wear is different and each time I pick up new things: caramel, dried flowers, burning oil, spices, coconut, hair wax, Indian milk sweets and bread. There is also a salty-buttered popcorn thing that wanders around and in & out. Freaky fragrance but Oh-So-Wearable. This one will definitely get you noticed and it sticks like glue, 19 hours later there is still a hum of difference over my skin.

If I was in the USA right now I would have been on my way to the store by now and have bought myself a bottle, Natalie was right, this is totally freaking YUMMY!

A few of the reviewers talk about the perfumer Ralf Schwieger who has made some fairly sensational niche stuff including Afternoon of a Faun by ELdO, Iris Nazarena by Aedes de Venustas, Orange Sanguine for Atelier Cologne and Christopher Street for Charenton Macerations. Everyone talks about how he hand finished every bottle in a paint splattered, antiqued, derelict hipster way. I think that’s cool.

Greg Lauren Patchwork Hoodie Barneys New YorkPhoto Stolen Barneys New York

Further reading: Now Smell This and Ca Fleure Bon
Barneys New York site has $195/100ml
Surrender To Chance has samples starting at $4/.5ml

Did you get to try it? Has Greg Lauren shown up on your radar yet?
Portia xx

Zuhair Murad – Fall Winter 2015/2016 Haute Couture Show in Paris

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Post by Portia

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Glamour. I know it’s not for everyone. Sometimes though it’s nice to get caught up in someone elses fantasy and in this fashion parade we see plenty of glamour and fantasy, I’m not sure if it’s fashion but if you love theatrical gowns and glittery fabrics then you will melt when you see some of these. Very historical Hollywood shapes and it’s nice to see shoulder pads back in business after a 20+ year hiatus. The wedding dress is fabulously ridiculous, poor girl looks completely out of her depth in it, but still it is incredible and OMG worthy.

Untitled-2Photo Stolen Zuhair Murad

I hope you enjoy this 15 minutes devoid of reality as much as I did.

Portia xxx

Zuhair Murad – Fall Winter 2015/2016 Haute Couture Show in Paris

Coco by CHANEL: Saddest Saga Ever

/ australianperfumejunkiescom / 23 Comments

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Post by Portia

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Hey there crew,

You know the excitement of buying some vintage lovely for a friend for whom it’s their Holy Grail? The thrill of the hunt, trolling eBay, ETSY and the Facebook pages looking for your current mad perfumista desire? Finding your Holy Grail on eBay at an affordable price, bidding, waiting, last minute flurry bid and then OMG! You’ve won it! High fives and back slapping all around. You rush quickly to your Pay Now button and PayPal the shit outta that thing. Then you wait………….

Coco by CHANEL: Saddest Saga Ever

Coco Parfum Chanel FragranticaPhoto Stolen Fragrantica

Fragrantica gives these featured accords:
Top: Coriander, mandarin orange, peach, jasmine, Bulgarian rose
Heart: Mimosa, cloves, orange blossom, clover, rose
Base: Labdanum, amber, sandalwood, tonka bean, opoponax, civet, vanilla

and you wait………

You write to the eBay seller and ‘Quell Surprise’ it hasn’t been sent yet. “Sending it today. sorry Sorry SORRY”

Now you start to worry because if they send it now and it arrives faulty, for whatever reason, you may not be covered to lodge an eBay claim. So, you wait……

and you fume……

and you wait…….

The worry has turned to mild panic, even though you’ve dealt with this seller before and everything has been 100% perfect there is the gnawing worry at the back of your mind, especially because you have bought a couple of other things from the same seller since. Could they have been above board and now readying to do a grab and run? You know, put a whole load of really excellent pics up of things they’ve sold before and sell their fake stuff for good money before disappearing forever? This is not completely unknown on the net, there are shady enough people in face to face dealings, anonymity adds a whole new meaning to the word dodgy.

Teetering on the edge of a nervous breakdown and obsessing madly over your lost precious you write again. It’s only a few days before the 45 day claim cut-off-period and you worry that this may become unsaveable, even though you paid through PayPal which will cover the loss but who needs the freaking drama. I just want my stuff. They write back, and they are really good Customer Service people. “It’s coming my friend. Please be patient. We are so sorry, it will be there”

Then…… It Arrived! So excited. We did a little happy dance, YAY! As the package is opened, we start to worry. It’s too fragrant. This does not bode well…..

Coco by Chanel Saga 2015 #1

Coco by Chanel Saga 2015 #3As you can see, disaster has struck. The nozzle has been damaged when they pulled the insert out to show fluid levels and the juice has all run out. It has bubbled the gold foil on the bottle and run riot through the packaging. The smell is unbelievably amazing. At least we know the product is authentic. GAWD it smells incredible in here. Scott has rubbed the box and wrapping all over his arms and smells like a very high class establishment for sexual satisfaction, of a cash for gratification style.

Obviously I am bummed and write to the seller who immediately says they’ll refund my full purchase amount. They are so sweet about it and say that I’m their best customer etc it’s nice. So though I have no fragrance I will give my buddy the bottle and packaging which she can leave in her undies drawer and they will now smell like the rest of her. DELICIOUS!

Sad Sage, an only mildly unhappy ending.

What stuff has arrived imperfect for you?
Portia xx